" Pray and seek God. People who can’t or won’t get close to others are often doers and achievers. They stay busy and productive, which keeps them from noticing the lack of internal love. They may not seek out the relational world at all. This dynamic often shows up in their relationship with God as well. During this process, be sure to spend time “being” with God and his Word. This is called “abiding,” or remaining. It involves simply bringing as much of yourself to him as you have available to you: “Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.”8 Ask God to help you experience his own warmth and empathy for all of you. He is Love itself.9 His very nature constrains him to want relationship with you. "

― Henry Cloud , Our Mothers, Ourselves: How Understanding Your Mother's Influence Can Set You on a Path to a Better Life