" 1. Put Yourself in Your Shoes. Can you notice the inner critic at work—and simply observe your thoughts and feelings without judging? What underlying needs do your feelings point to? What do you really need? 2. Develop Your Inner BATNA. Are you blaming anyone or anything for your needs not being met? What benefit does this blame provide you—and what are the costs? Can you commit to take care of your deepest needs no matter what? "

― William Ury , Getting to Yes with Yourself: (and Other Worthy Opponents)