QUOTE : Even the argument that you have had a hundred times with your partner, the one that never gets solved. You get frustrated, feeling like you are stuck in a broken record. It doesn’t benefit you. In many cases, it doesn’t benefit anyone. Is anyone happy and satisfied in an abusive relationship? In a dysfunctional office or family? Even when we know it is dysfunctional, we keep doing the same things over and over again. We are on a script. If the script doesn’t benefit anybody, why do we do it? We do it because the Monkey brain believes it benefits everybody. It benefits the group. The Monkey brain feels it is a survival necessity to be in a group. It is nearly as important to know one’s place in the group. Once these are established, no matter how horrible it may be (the daughter who is the target of abuse is not in what one would call a high-status role in a nice group), the Monkey is afraid that changing anything may change everything. And the Monkey sees that as death.