QUOTE : Your Tools for Charming Others Try these effective listening techniques—listening, pausing, asking thoughtful questions, and paraphrasing—one at a time. Begin by practicing attentive listening at home and at work. Make no attempt to interrupt. Just hang on the other person’s every word. Practice controlling and directing the conversation by using these various techniques. You’ll discover you can communicate more deeply with a person in a few minutes by asking questions and listening closely to the answers than you could in several weeks by talking all the time.