QUOTE : Masters: Situation appears dire. Look around. Do you see any adults?<br />Me: My ball size indicates I’m the adultest thing here.<br /> Me: I haven’t been rejected this hard since I tried to block the punt in that game against OSU last semester.<br /><br />Masters: My wife says rejection is good for you. Makes you mentally tough.<br /><br />Me: You love saying that phrase “my wife.”<br /><br />Masters: You bet your fat ass I do.<br /><br />Me: You don’t think it’s completely strange that you’re 21 and acting like a Taylor Swift song?<br /><br />Masters: Bro, sorry you feel left out. Stop by later and I’ll give you a hug.<br /><br />Me: Fuck off.<br /><br />Masters: I have MY WIFE to do that for me. Thanks, though. Hug still stands. I’ll even let you smell me. MY WIFE says I smell delicious.<br /><br />Me: I’ve smelled you before, which is why I’m not sure how you convinced Ellie to marry you. She must have defective olfactory senses.<br /><br />Masters: Me and MY defective WIFE will be getting it on tonight. While u have only Rosie Palm.<br /><br />Me: Don’t worry. I get plenty of variety. Left-hand Laura sometimes steps in.<br /><br />Masters: Heard you were out with Josie Weeks. Be careful. She eats little linebackers like you for breakfast.<br /><br />And the fact that I don’t even want to make a sexually charged comeback tells me exactly how I feel about Josie. Hope she doesn’t mind being just study partners.