" Of course my van had broken down two weeks into the tour. Mean Mistress Mustard had given a shudder and a sigh as I coaxed her toward a hilly stretch along Route 321 between Boone and Charlotte, North Carolina, as if to say, “Girlfriend, you want me to do what ? Please, bitch. I’m forty-two years old.” I had stood by her bumper, cursing Jax and his entire unborn line of privileged progeny. "

― Jessica Topper , Courtship of the Cake (Much "I Do" About Nothing, #2)