" two-faced, crooked-as-a-candy-cane, pink-cheeked, over-iced-crumbles-of-last-year’s-fruitcake, if you called that blasted, good-for-nothing, waste-of-sparkling-Dragon-scales MAN, I swear by Rudolph’s shiny balls I’m sending you to Hades to bake shitcakes with the Trolls! "

― Julia Mills , Dreamin' of a White Dragon (Dragon Guard, #36)