" I wanted to fall apart in public so it could finally be someone else's responsibility to pick me back up. I wanted someone to know me. I wanted someone to make me stop. I wanted all that—but I couldn't stand the idea of letting someone else see how weak I was. That's how I sank so low, so quietly. I was trapped in dichotomy—certain of two things at once that couldn't possibly agree.

Believing what happened wasn't bad enough to be so shaken over, but still coming undone. Blaming myself entirely, but still feeling powerless. Standing on the razor’s edge, knowing that I was doing myself wrong, but falling back in every single time. "

― Ruby Walker , Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager