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21 " Other days, like any redneck, I'm proud, ornery, and defiant! Who the fuck am I to think that due to my political leanings, slightly above average intelligence, and genuine compassion for all of mankind I'm somehow better than the people around me? I mean, I am--but seriously, who am I to think that? "
― , The Liberal Redneck Manifesto: Draggin' Dixie Outta the Dark
22 " If it wasn't for Prohibition, we wouldn't have NASCAR, and if it wasn't for NASCAR we wouldn't have Dale Earnhardt, and if we didn't have Dale Earnhardt, then our mamaws wouldn't have any plates on their walls. "
23 " I could shoot the dick off a hummingbird but fuck the NRA with a prickly pear. "
24 " From gun shows, where they openly promote their product by imploring customers to buy “while you still can,” to homegrown militias who apparently believe in their blessed little hearts that they, a group of overweight forty-and fifty-year-old men who have never even had Boy Scout–level training and can’t jog a mile, are the protectors of America, the Second Amendment has by far got to be the most countercultured of all the amendments. Obviously, there are groups that take the First Amendment very seriously, but it’s tough to imagine a group of soccer moms getting together on the weekends to discuss “tactics” on how to keep free speech alive and comparing notes on their sweet new semiautomatic megaphones they use to proudly shout about their rights at “free speech shows. "
25 " Pheromones are like titties for your nose. "
26 " ...screaming about your rights as an American while rockin' the confederate flag is like arguing against gay marriage with a dick in your mouth. "