Home > Author > Chloe Seager
1 " So you spoke to Laurence Myer?”“Oh, no. I added him though. We’ve achieved virtual friendship. "
― Chloe Seager , Dating Disasters of Emma Nash
2 " She's somewhere in the darkness. Just follow the smell. "
3 " If a PLL fan has had enough drama then you KNOW it’s been enough drama. "
― Chloe Seager , Friendship Fails of Emma Nash
4 " How do YOU want to greet him?!”“By licking his neck? "
5 " I know for a fact that he regularly steals from self-checkouts and sticks his gum underneath desks. Those are not the actions of a moral person. "
6 " Where do you think Britney Spears would be now if her mum hadn’t pushed her to keep singing at a young age?!” “Probably a lot calmer, happier and more stable. "
7 " Will Jess be OK with that?”“Having a phone without a passcode is practically an open invitation.”I can’t argue with that kind of logic. "
8 " I’ve fostered a substantial, almost protective affection for this particular group. These aren’t just any fifty people I don’t care about, these are my fifty people I don’t care about. "
9 " I actually think women are generally very discreet about the whole thing (e.g. Gracie, who obviously bleeds rainbows). If guys bled out of their penises for a week of every month, you can bet we’d hear more about it. "
10 " As it turns out, not being distracted by constant Snapchats from Steph means I’m actually getting lots of stuff done. I bet having a fight with her best mate is how Coco Chanel got started. "
11 " I like YOU! I’ve liked you since before hitting puberty! Since before dinosaurs walked the Earth! Since before the old Taylor Swift died! "
12 " She nodded and smiled, but I could feel that she was slightly disappointed in me. Like Ms Parker when I answer every question in English with ‘It’s a metaphor for desire. "
13 " PROS: I'm not nice. I'm not not pretty, when I bother to brush my hair. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of rubbish TV shows. I have a blog, too, though it's mainly dedicated to self-pity, and it never results in cake. "
14 " Yes, the smiley at the end makes everything better. Much less scary. "
15 " IT SLAPPED MY HAND. I’ve been rejected by the penis. "
16 " Oh my God. Why did he only have a semi?! Do I not merit a full erection? "
17 " I feel weird and not at all like myself, like Stefan Salvatore when he gets the taste for human blood after 150 years. "
18 " EVIDENCE: Heed my warning. DO NOT make life decisions that will actually affect your future based around someone you like. Even if you think you may ‘love’ them. It is not worth it. You will end up like me. I am doing a whole extra AS level because I am an idiot . "
19 " I still cannot believe Gracie is all right with this. It’s a miracle. I’m sort of expecting it to be a big ruse and tomorrow Steph will wake up with meat in her bed spelling ‘Judas’. "
20 " Evidence: Online connections do not necessarily entail real-life connections. Especially when you’ve e-tweaked yourself a little bit. "
― Chloe Seager
