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1 " When you show people a picture of a circle with a small wedge cut out of it, their eyes first go to the missing piece every time. It is easy among the doctors, the needles, and the tubes to lose sight of the beauty that was. Despite our pain, our fear, and our very real loses, we would do well to think about our many past blessing with our loved one who is now diminished. There is so much more to who we were and who we are than just the missing piece. "
― , The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift
2 " Pain diminishes us, and it is so important to remember, in the midst of pain and everything that pain takes from you, that still ... you are enough. You are enough just as you are. You are worthy of love and kindness. You are enough. And you have enough. "
― , More Beautiful Than Before: How Suffering Transforms Us
3 " Understanding death - its rituals, its lessons, its gift to reshape love through memory, its grief, its powerful reminder that it is not what but who we have that matters - gives our lives exquisite meaning. "
4 " That’s really all they ask of us—our parents; our lovers, husbands, and wives; our children and dear friends. That we carry them gently in our lives as they carried us in theirs. Not with crushing sadness, for they do not wish such weight upon us. But with lightness and warmth. God bless them for the memories they left for us that make carrying them with joy possible. The wisdom and love they bequeathed us. The joy and comfort they brought to us as they carried us through life so that now we might carry them forever in our hearts—without bitterness, without crushing sadness. When someone has loved us well and long, we need not buckle beneath the weight of sorrow. Instead, we can carry them with us with gratitude, completeness, and joy. "
5 " It is the impermanence of the body that has convinced me of the eternality of the soul. Physics tells us that energy never dies, it merely assumes a different form. I never feel this more deeply than when gazing upon a dead body, a vessel emptied of its life force, a force that must surely now exist elsewhere. "
6 " Your children will be sad," I tell Franny, "but they will not die because you die. They will live and laugh and love with everything you have given them in their hearts forever. They will discover you in unexpected moments and places for the rest of their lives. "
7 " , and not because they are exceptional, but because they are human, like all of us, with a capacity to move forward in life despite the worst pain of death and grief. "
8 " This is the beauty and the tragedy of my father's life and death. For him, for me, for most of us at the time, for better and for worse, death is life's mirror. "
9 " We are helpless in death, but we are not helpless in life. "
10 " The beauty of flowers depends on the fact that they soon wither. How deeply could one deathless "human" being really love another? It is the simple fact that we do not have forever that makes our love for each other so profound. "
11 " If life is good then death must be bad is the way most people think, but this isn't really so. I am not for a moment trying to make sense of the death of a child or anyone who has not been granted his or her full measure of life. But generally speaking, is more really better or is there something about death that defines the essence of life itself? "
12 " Pain cracks us open. It breaks us. But in the breaking, there is a new kind of wholeness that emerges. "
13 " Pain is the house that will listen patiently to your tears. "
14 " There are angels all around us. Angels in our friends, our family; people we meet. Sometimes you don’t see those angels until you really need them. "
15 " If you want to change your life—really change—wake up to the blessed life you already have despite your pain. "
16 " the single most important thing in life is showing up. "
17 " I have never understood how people can pray for mercy and compassion from God but not be merciful and compassionate themselves. "
18 " To be human is to suffer, and there is profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform it into a more authentic, meaningful life. Pain is a great teacher, but the lessons do not come easily. "
19 " it’s very important to remember that when you reach out in pain, the people who really matter don’t mind, and the people who mind really don’t matter. "
20 " some people will disappoint you when you are in need and others will surprise you with their ability to show up. "