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1 " unfull but full of loathing "
― , Brute: Poems
2 " We're almost a whole shadow now from far away. "
3 " Compromised by longing & looking for languageto note the differences in the map: the pointed sprucestipped against the moon this time& the water halflit, star-slid—but it makes no differencein the telling. "
4 " New inadequate gestures of suffering Chimeric thing "
5 " Is it giving up if you give what you have& the universe still fucks you "
6 " What is this impulse in me to worship & crucifyanyone who leaves me— "
7 " Blue river nameless, sky blank, pointless "
8 " Don't tell me the sun is an exitthe sky is a clamp. "
9 " Done with the whole dark& the insect dirgeunder blue lit lamps. Done trying to rememberJune, first stars & Augustwhen I was Penelopewhen I was Eurydicewhen July was missing& I was my own dull shade. "
10 " He said I didn't want to tell youto wait for me (But wait for me) "
11 " On Broad Street, ravenslurk on the Divine Lorraine Hotel as if to sayAlways a corpse flower, never a bride. "
12 " It's not anyone's fault that this world is full of omens.By all accounts, history is a practiceof ignoring things & hoping for the best. You can driveyourself crazy with looking. You can expectbad luck to mark you unfooled, fooled.Light to mark you with light. "
13 " Underneathevery pattern is a logicit's your privilege to ignore& yours is dreamsense yours is erasure "
14 " I have just this one heart okay I was burned I was gaslit nearly to ash on the first tryFrom the start I was told I was a powerful speaker I was told when & how I should speakIt's true I made a feast of my own misery I invited everyone the whole gang "
15 " I know what to dowith the dark. "
16 " If ghost, if whore, if virgin—same origin story:because X was a face too lovely, Y was a corpse in the lake. "
17 " How many implements of shame should I hold againstmyself? "
18 " Oh hawk, what's your damage—are you here to pick the bonesof the years I laid waste tolike I never loved a thing? So be it. "
19 " as if my own voicecould return meto myself. "
20 " Understand I need these fragments. To tell it once is not enough.I have a hundred holy objects, everything looked upon, to break.Time will pass, time will pass me, attaching mile-marker threatsto every causeway. "