26
" Every day I confronted fear: fear of never being a professional athlete again, fear of never doing what I loved, fear of my recovery process, fear of being in pain forever, fear of having to compromise my dreams or who I was as a person. Fear consumed me, swallowing me up. So, I started writing out my frustrations, giving them the space they deserved, and then I would flip back to my affirmations and start reading. Slowly, as I read through the list, I started to find my strength again. I would read that final affirmation a couple of times, take a deep breath, and carry that belief with me throughout the day, or at least the next hour, when I needed to be reminded again of my worth and purpose. "
― , Out and Back
27
" The more I shared with him, the more my vulnerability grew. Not many people really see me like that. I do a good job at keeping that part of me tucked away and wrapped up safely. I have a lot of friends, but very few see the real me, stripped down, as someone who’s not always smiling, someone who doubts, questions, and demands the best of herself no matter the cost. Timothy was beginning to understand what made me tick, and he saw the inner turmoil I was experiencing as I battled my old self, and my self-imposed expectations, with the discovery of my new self, accepting the unknown and the changes that came with it. "
― , Out and Back
35
" Running simply makes me better. It makes me a whole person, able to engage with all the parts of me. It’s not just about being a runner, the act of running, being an athlete, training, and going from one race to the next. That’s too simple, too narrow, and leaves no room for growth. Running has become a place where I can explore every part of me. It’s one of the few places where I can struggle, suffer, cry, hit rock bottom, and still become better. It’s one of the few places where I can learn about the most important relationship in my life—my relationship with myself. This relationship is perpetually evolving and in constant need of love and attention, but through running, movement, and challenge, I’ve discovered the best way to take care of me. The best way to allow myself the space to grow, change, and love, and to be confused, uncomfortable, and raw—with no timeline or hidden agenda. In doing so, I’m able to perform at my best, to be honest and authentic with everyone I come in contact with. "
― , Out and Back