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1 " In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. "
― Johnny Carson
2 " Just be yourself -- it's the only way it can work. "
3 " Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. "
4 " Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. "
5 " If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. "
6 " I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. "
7 " The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money. "
8 " If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators dead. "
9 " people pay more to be entertained that educated "
10 " Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!! "
11 " Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, “I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled. "
12 " Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire. "
13 " For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off. "
14 " Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "storms suck! "
15 " For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. "
16 " If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. "
17 " New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved. "
