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21 " Bombs The first bomb dropped unheard, unlike the loudly dropped second and third; then the final bomb dropped from the sky to the ground and the last-seen bomb made the last-heard sound. "
― Bo Burnham , Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone
22 " Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist. "
― Bo Burnham
23 " Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book. "
24 " Judge Jesus I said, “You can’t judge me. Only Jesus can!” He said, “Well I can ’cause I’m a judge and ’cause you just killed a man. "
25 " They “Well, man, you know what they say.” No, I don’t. I don’t know what they say. I don’t even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them. "
26 " 9 likes Like Facebook_icon“Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line in your best crotchety- old man voice:"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?"Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that?How?! It must've been magic. "
27 " Perfect I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you. "
28 " My Rabbit’s Foot I’ve got a rabbit’s foot and I feel lucky that I have it, but I still know that it must’ve come from one unlucky rabbit. "
29 " How fitting, she thought, that her words,after tumbling in her head all day,came out shrunkenlike they were meant for a child. "
30 " GypsyOn Wednesday morning, clear and calm, I went to Astor Place.And had a Gypsy read my palm or maybe just my face.She said my heart was heavy and my head was stuffed with lies.But things like that weren't on my hands, they hid behind my eyes.The room is dull and dank and cold but at least I have a hand to hold. "
31 " Searching I’m not looking in every nook and cranny for it. I’ll do the nooks. No way I left my keys in some fucking cranny. "
32 " How, may I ask, did you get so you,you beautiful true-to-you doer?I’ve met many today but can honestly saythat I’ve never met anyone you-er. "
33 " The Squares The Squares lived happily, in their square houses, in their square yards, in their square town. One day, a family of Circles moved in from the west. “Get out of here, roundies!” shouted one of the Squares. “Why?” asked one of the Circles. “Because this is a metaphor for racism! "
34 " I'll do that tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and it's still today. Tomorrow is a relative term. Makes Annie a lot more depressing "
35 " I feel taller. I like that. "
36 " FlowersOn the third of June, at a minute past two,where once was a person, a flower now grew.Five daisies arranged on a large outdoor stagein front of a ten-acre pasture of sage.In a changing room, a lily poses.At the DMV, rows of roses.The world was much crueler an hour ago.I’m glad someone decided to give flowers a go. "
37 " Women are like toes and fingers they're easy to count on. "
38 " You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you. "
39 " Life is an open book. Time is an oscillating fan. I’ve had to learn to skim-read because before I can read more than a few paragraphs,That fucking airhead comes circling back, blowing pages like a medieval prostitute.The cool air feels nice, though. Sometimes, when my head aches, I let me eyes relax and I enjoy the breeze as the words blur. "
40 " When I walk into a room, you’d think I was one of those long, straight Tetris pieces because everyone’s just like, “Oh great, you’re here! We’ve been waiting for you to show up. "