Home > Author > Calvin Payne-Taylor
1 " But I did it. I imagined myself, muscular, lean and deliciously male, in a suit, holding my completed dissertation. I was accepted to the PhD program in History at Yale University today, as well as starting hormone replacement therapy: subcutaneously-injected testosterone in a solution with cottonseed oil. The universe, fate, or what I chose to call God, has an incredible way of working things out like that. And then I plunged the needle into my skin. I did it with clear intention and the surest, most earnest heart I have ever felt beat inside my chest...I breathed in and exhaled as I pushed the testosterone into my body for the first time. Little pinch. A leap of faith into the rest of my life. "
― Calvin Payne-Taylor , Genderbound: An Odyssey From Female to Male
2 " I confess that I sometimes felt like I was being launched into the endless expanses of space alone...But from the moment I had voiced my trans identity that first night, every step I took felt like coming home. Every step felt like healing, aching and uncomfortable as it began, but slowly hinting at a kind of relief, a feeling of rightness I’d never known before. I was shedding my skin like a snake. I knew it as soon as the itch began. I can only describe how I knew it as the unyielding certainty of instinct. "
