102
" It’s just this pain, this unbearable mental pain – often it’s your body too, and every part of you hurts. But you don’t really care about your body, it’s your mind. Every thought hurts like hell. Everything you see is awful, twisted, pointless. And the worst – the worst of it is yourself. You realize you are the most ghastly person in the world, the most hideous, inside and out. And you just want to escape, you just want to get rid of yourself, of your suffering, of the pain inside your head. You want to shut out the world and yourself, for ever. A-and death is the only option left because you’ve been through this time and time again, thought and thought about trying to change yourself, the way you think, the way you behave, the way you live. Yet it always comes back to this – the fact that you just d-don’t want to be alive— "
― Tabitha Suzuma , A Voice in the Distance (Flynn Laukonen, #2)
116
" No sé cuando empezó, esta situación, pero está creciendo, envolviéndome, asfixiándome como hiedra venenosa. Crecí dentro de ella, y ésta creció dentro de mí. Difuminamos los bordes, nos convertimos en una cosa amorfa, que se filtra y se arrastra. A veces me las arreglo para distraerme, me engaño para salir de su morada, me convenzo de que estoy bien. "
― Tabitha Suzuma , Forbidden
117
" He wants to run, but where? However far he goes, he will not escape, cannot escape his own loathsome self. He will always be trapped within his own body, his own mind. The emotional pain that comes with this realization is so strong, it feels physical. He senses it knotting and twisting inside his body, ready to destroy him from within. He is losing his grip, he is losing his mind. Does anyone else know what it is to be dead yet still alive? This is it. This is it . A half-world of torment, where memories frozen into oblivion slowly begin to thaw. A place where everything hurts, where your conscious mind has neither the strength to let you function in the real world, nor the power to return you to hibernation. "
― Tabitha Suzuma , Hurt