Home > Author > Gary L. Thomas
1 " Contempt is born when we fixate on our spouse’s weaknesses. Every spouse has these sore points. If you want to find them, without a doubt you will. If you want to obsess about them, they’ll grow – but you won’t!Jesus provides a remedy that is stunning in its simplicity yet foreboding in its difficulty. He tells us to take the plank out of our own eye before we try to remove the speck from our neighbor’s eye (see Matthew 7:3–5).If you’re thinking “but my spouse is the one who has the plank,” allow me to let you in on a secret: You’re exactly the type of person Jesus is talking to. You’re the one He wanted to challenge with these words. Jesus isn’t helping us resolve legal matters here; He’s urging us to adopt humble spirits. He wants us to cast off the contempt – to have contempt for the contempt – and learn the spiritual secret of respect.Consider the type of people Jesus loved in the days He walked on earth – Judas (the betrayer); the woman at the well (a sexual libertine); Zacchaeus (the conniving financial cheat); and many others like them. In spite of the fact that Jesus was without sin and these people were very much steeped in sin, Jesus still honored them. He washed Judas’s feet; He spent time talking respectfully to the woman at the well; He went to Zacchaeus’s house for dinner. Jesus, the only perfect human being to live on this earth, moved toward sinful people; He asks us to do the same, beginning with the one closest to us – our spouse. "
― Gary L. Thomas , Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
2 " Heloise learned to love Abelard solely for who he was. That forbidden love brought her nothing but pain, but she would rather have shame and pain with Abelard than peace and happiness without him. "
3 " Marriage isn't about rights as much as it is about revelation. "
― Gary L. Thomas , A Lifelong Love: Devotional Journal
4 " I am dedicated to the preservation of my marriage's unity. "
5 " We are most happy when we are most focused on serving God together. "
6 " What is more likely to lead to true marital satisfaction-getting a fallen spouse to change his or her ways, or changing your own focus so that you draw affirmation from a God who never disappoints, never turns you away? "
7 " If we accept that the love of praise is a sin, that the lust to be known and appreciated by others is not just a fool's errand...but perhaps evidence of a heart focused on the wrong things, our marriages will be transformed. "
8 " We learn to love imperfect people by serving them out of reverence for a perfect God... "
― Gary L. Thomas , A Lifelong Love: What If Marriage Is about More Than Just Staying Together?
9 " A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs. "
10 " No man can be everything. A successful long-distance cyclist can't be a bodybuilder. Though there are exceptions, dedicating one's time to becoming exceptional at one thing usually means not being exceptional at a whole lot of other things.Since no man can be everything, one of the best gifts to give is acceptance-'You don't have to be anything other than what you are. "
― Gary L. Thomas , Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage
11 " A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make. "
12 " Couples don't fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance. "
― Gary L. Thomas
13 " What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? "
14 " A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It's our own heart's decisions that matter "
15 " The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator. "
16 " We bring nothing to God, and He gives us everything. "
17 " The truth is, we want to be known; we truly do. But we’re afraid. If you see the real me, will you run away? Am I even worth being known? Will the real me bore you? Scare you? Repulse you? And so we hide. "
― Gary L. Thomas , The Sacred Search: What If It's Not about Who You Marry, But Why?
18 " I wouldn't be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can't tolerate in their spouse. "
19 " If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise. "
20 " Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over—expectations, or thanksgivings. "
