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" With your help I can scratch both legs at the same time.” “No, never mind,” said Leslie. She walked up behind Louis, the yard teacher, and hopped on his shoulders. “Louis,” said Leslie. “I don’t know what to do with my toes.” Louis tugged her foot. “Yes, that is a serious problem,” he said, “but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take them off your hands for you, or rather, your feet. Just cut them off and "
― Louis Sachar , Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School #1)