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Alex Shvartsman QUOTES

Alex Shvartsman QUOTES

1 " Instead of finishing the sentence she slid a business card across the counter. It listed her contact information for every social media site I'd heard of, and several that were still in beta. Except for Google Plus. Even Internet-addicted fairies have standards. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories

2 " I hated as hard as I could. I thought about Nazis. Air pollution. The Twilight books. Bill O’Reilly (beginner’s mistake; political hate is notoriously hard to channel). Calculus. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Funny Science Fiction

3 " Small minds don’t grow, no matter how long you water them. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Funny Science Fiction

4 " The President faced the microphone with a look of utter helplessness, like a man reading My Pet Goat to a group of pre-schoolers as a major terrorist attack happens elsewhere. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Funny Science Fiction

5 " Things known to start the dog barking include, but are not limited to: sunrise, sunset, darkness, rain, helicopters, radios, clouds, children’s laughter, anyone entering any of the back yards adjoining the yard where my neighbor has penned his dog, garbage collectors, birds, squirrels, and air. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Funny Science Fiction

6 " Ah, yes, well that’s the problem with the English language, isn’t it? All the words mean different things. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Unidentified Funny Objects 2 (UFO #2)

7 " If you want to get anything done, you don’t go to the government. "

― Alex Shvartsman , Unidentified Funny Objects (UFO #1)

8 " In the guards’ defense it should be said that no screening test ever devised could reliably distinguish between a terrorist and a mathematician—and "

― Alex Shvartsman , Unidentified Funny Objects (UFO #1)