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1 " Dave has always equated love with sex. That idea had started early on with pornographic images which wired him a certain way. It was reinforced by guy talk in locker rooms, he played sports in high school and college, and through relationships with women who also defined love as sex. It was all he knew, but as it turned out, most of those women had been sexually abused in ways that disconnected them from their bodies and wired them to be highly sexual. It came out that Maddie was also sexually abused, which Dave didn't know, but she had gone the other way in reaction to that trauma. She didn't enjoy sex. Sex was a device, something she used to attract men, not something that brought her pleasure. "
― John Kim , Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
2 " Learn the difference between busyness and accomplishments. "
― John Kim
3 " Can you give someone else your undivided attention? Do that for yourself. "
4 " Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself. You start chasing. You get desperate. You forget your “why.” But most importantly, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get what you want. And if that never comes, you never practice being happy. "
5 " Every man must ask himself two questions: First, Where am I going? And second, Who’s coming with me? If he reverses the order, he will be going alone. "
― John Kim , I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life
6 " Because when inner change happens, it naturally ripples outward. "
7 " Here’s the takeaway I learned years later as an adult after many more crushes and relationships. It wasn’t really that I was "
8 " He defined love based on how much sex they had. If they weren't having sex, he felt unloved and rejected. If they were having a lot of sex, he felt loved and desired. But Maddie didn't enjoy sex. She usually just did it for him. This made him feel tricked, because she had presented herself as a "highly sexual person" when they first met, but after a year he realized she wasn't. "
