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1 " Instead of voting for the person they like best, they vote for the one they think they have to vote for so the other one doesn't win. The reason an otherwise good candidate has 'no chance' is because the media decided ahead of time they had no chance, and the uninformed, apathetic voters go along with it! "
― William Arthur Holmes , Lottery President: Political wishful thinking
2 " If you're not at least a little bit of a conspiracy theorist these days, you're just not paying attention. "
― William Arthur Holmes , Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo
3 " Funny how the threat of lost love puts politics into proper perspective. "
4 " I'm not that smart. These other candidates just make me look good by comparison. Anyway, someone smarter than me would never run for president. "
5 " Russia is like a matryoshka doll. You never know what you'll get. "
― William Arthur Holmes , Last Train Out
6 " Don't be scared when you feel you are about to die. You're not frightened when you wake up in the morning, are you? Pretty much the same thing. 'Life is but a dream! "
7 " That's right, I'm a conspiracy theorist. Sure, some scoff at the mere thought of conspiracy, but ask any detective, lawyer or judge — if you can find an honest one — and they'll tell you conspiracies happen all the time. From petty theft all the way up to rigging elections and global conquest. Pinky and the Brain are not the only ones trying to take over the world! "
8 " Maybe I should visit the southern hemisphere? I've been told a toilet flushes in the opposite direction in Australia. My luck will be the exact opposite! My life can go down the drain in the opposite direction! "
― William Arthur Holmes , Operation Detour
9 " Pugs rule! "
― William Arthur Holmes , The Lazy Pug Cafe
10 " Well, they fired me, too, but you don't see me putting a flame thrower to the place. "
― William Arthur Holmes ,
