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61 " He wished to remain elusive even to himself. He was full of contradiction—penitential confessional eagerness and a secrecy that kept him opaque and in motion. "
― Susanna Moore , In the Cut
62 " I don't want to go home," he said, as if he were telling the truth at last. I wondered in sudden detachment if I would at last find out what it was that he wanted from me. "
63 " I did not bother to explain myself. It would have taken months. Years. "
64 " I suddenly wondered if he thought that I was powerless, and then I realized that I was powerless. "
65 " The killer might do it again and then we could start to put things together. Leave our minds open, let what we know work its way round our brain. Some smart detective might pick up something. "
66 " I'm sorry," I said."You didn't do nothing," he said in surprise."I can be sorry even if it's not my fault."He looked at me as if this were a new idea for him. "
67 " Do you want to come in?" I asked, surprised at myself."No," he said.I realized that I wanted him to come inside. Which surprised me even more. "
68 " I said nothing, fearful that he would stop. "
69 " He doesn't seem to have a private life, only a secret life which appears to overlap and even be a part of his work life. "
70 " It was not something a woman would do, lay money on a bar like that. I am very interested in the ways that men are different from women. "
71 " You got to get out when it's no fun anymore. You'll know when it's over the day it's no fun anymore. You know what I'm saying? "
72 " I have been telling a lot of lies lately. "
73 " He was anxious to go, reluctant to go. Ready to go. "
74 " She don't want you around all fucking day. Many women that I know take you home, you make love, it's all over, you get up, you can see the relief on their faces: Not only does he fuck me well, he leaves. "
75 " That’s not what I meant.”“What?”“I want to know what you did with her.”He looked at me. “Why?” he asked at last.“I don’t know. So I can imagine it. So I can sleep.”He started to speak, then stopped himself. Then he began again. "
76 " Something I have never mastered. Something I've never even tried to master. "
77 " Listen. I can be whatever you want me to be. It's what I do. It's what I'm good at. Just remember that. You want me to be your best friend and fuck you? No problem. You want me to romance you, take you to dinner and shit? No problem. "
78 " I pretended not to be too interested in the gun. "
79 " Unlike myself, she has the accident of style rather than the intention. "
80 " I smiled. Wanting to shove him into the hall with its red-flocked Victorian wallpaper, not able to comfort him, not wanting to comfort him. "