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121 " I buy him a huge sign that reads YOU ARE MY BUCKET LIST and hang it in our living room. "
― Kate Bowler , Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved
122 " What followed was a blissful year. That is the most annoying thing in the world to say, in a world full of mothers who struggle with breast-feeding, high fevers, long days, and late nights. But I can only try to redeem myself by saying that I was completely caught off guard by my outrageous happiness. "
123 " I used to think that grief was about looking backward, old men saddled with regrets or young ones pondering should-haves. I see now that it is about eyes squinting through tears into an unbearable future. The world cannot be remade by the sheer force of love. A brutal world demands capitulation to what seems impossible—separation. Brokenness. An end without an ending. It is one thing to abandon vices and false starts "
124 " something close to rage. I read an article about how people in grief swear because they feel the English language has reached its limit in a time of inarticulate sorrow. "
125 " The virtues of mass production are seductive. Speed. Productivity. Growth. But the labor my students are preparing for is slow and inefficient. Most of the week will be spent trying to offer kindness to a deacon who never liked you, or weeding heresies out of the Sunday school material you bought online. You'll spend days coming up with enough beauty and truth to fill an hour on Sunday only to receive a dozen comments from parishioners about how much they miss the old pastor on their way out the door. If you want progress, take up running. If you want meaning, run a church. "
― Kate Bowler , No Cure for Being Human: And Other Truths I Need to Hear
126 " We are reminded why the title pastor comes from the word shepherd, because most of Christian ministry will be spent attending to everyday life. My students at the divinity school sign up for the grand cause of joining God in bringing heaven to earth but mostly find themselves fiddling with the sanctuary sound system and trying to get what's-her-face off the church council. "
127 " We worship at the altar of plenty. ... we cling to stories of more-than-enoughness believing the future is full to the brim for all of us. "
128 " The problem with aspirational lists, of course, is that they often skip the point entirely. Instead of helping us grapple with our finitude, they have approximated infinity. "
129 " that now. We are trapped between a past we can’t return to and a future that is uncertain. And it takes guts to live here, in the hard space between "
130 " To so many people, I am no longer just myself. I am a reminder of a thought that is difficult for the rational brain to accept: our bodies might fail at any moment. "
131 " The terrible gift of a terrible illness is that it has, in fact, taught me to live in the moment. Nothing but this day matters: the warmth of this crib, the sound of his hysterical giggling. And when I look closely at my life, I realize that I'm not just learning to seize the day. In my finite life, the mundane has begun to sparkle. The things I love - the things I should love - become clearer, brighter. "
132 " So often we are defined by the troubles we live with, rather than the things we conquer. "
133 " We are a culture racing toward better tomorrows, but suffering is the slow work of attrition. First it costs you casual friends and small talk, then retirement plans and the thrill of being cajoled into new projects. "
134 " How lucky, then, that we are not failing. Our lives are to problems to be solved. We can have meaning and beauty and love, but nothing even close to resolution. "
― Kate Bowler ,
135 " It's easy to imagine letting go when we forget that choices are luxuries, allowing us to maintain our illusion of control. But until those choices are plucked from our hands—someone dies, someone leaves, something breaks—we are only playing at surrender. "
136 " There is a fellowship around the afflicted, and it is marked by silence. "
137 " Who wants to be confronted with the reality that we are all a breath away from a problem that could alter our lives completely? A friend with a very sick child said it best: I'm everyone's inspiration and no one's friend. "
138 " There is a fellowship among the afflicted, and it is marked by silence. "
139 " God, let me see things clearly. I must accept the world as it is, or break against the truth of it: my life is made of paper walls. And so is everyone else's. "
140 " Later, when I was able to walk, I went hiking through a North Carolina forest with my friend Laura to tell her the long story of how I was coming undone but I was not unmade. "Then please don't fuck this up, Kate," she said sagely, which sent me into hysterics. She is a therapist and one of the wisest Christians I know, so she is keenly aware that a well-placed expletive is better than all the inspiration in the world. "