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1 " Hear my wife speak of John Lewis and you might picture a stately pleasure dome of ornamental cascades and hanging gardens, staffed by muscular Centaurs who know all there is to know about kitchenware and soft furnishings. But really it's just a big hall full of wanky chrome fridges. "
― Tim Moore , You are Awful (But I Like You): Travels Around Unloved Britain
2 " I hate plays. I’ve never seen the point of paying money to watch people shout a lot and pretend to die, and now that I’m the father of three young children I don’t have to. "
― Tim Moore
3 " A disproportionate number of retailers, I noted, offered nothing but translucent ochre trinkets: back in the Königsberg centuries, the city made its millions from amber – a substance whose precious allure I have never fully grasped, and which to my mind was very fortunate to have retained its prized aesthetic appeal following the invention of barley sugar. But "
― Tim Moore , The Cyclist Who Went Out in the Cold: Adventures Along the Iron Curtain Trail
4 " His winning opener: ‘Hello, English cycleman friend! I have 67 years. "
― Tim Moore , Gironimo! Riding the Very Terrible 1914 Tour of Italy
5 " You understand how it is here, the weather?’ The elderly Norwegian in a Charlie Brown earflap hat was the first pedestrian I had encountered since leaving Kirkenes, a little port hunkered pluckily up in Europe’s furthest top-right corner. On his third and loudest attempt, he had at last penetrated a howling blizzard and the many thermal layers that swaddled my head. It was a disappointing response to my own snood-muffled enquiry: the distance to Näätämö, across the border in Finland, the European Union’s northernmost settlement and the only place for hours around that offered an overnight alternative to a hunched and lonely death in the sub-Polar darkness. My understanding of how it was there, the weather, had, I felt, been pretty solid for a graduate from the No Shit Sherlock School of Climate Studies: our conversation was taking place 400km above the Arctic Circle, in winter. Nonetheless, this knowledge base had broadened memorably over the previous eighteen hours, and in ways that left the tiny exposed parts of my face encrusted with frozen tears of pain and terror. I nodded feebly, expending around 8 per cent of my physical reserves. ‘So why you are WITH BICYCLE? "
6 " Life-shortening though it might be, no way in clicking heck was I missing out on the zoomy reward for all my Alp-ascending toil. Going fast downhill is kind of the whole point of cycling; it’s what makes it better than walking. Momentum "
7 " Italians manifestly enjoy life, but a Frenchman on holiday is Eeyore with cancer. "
8 " In Peep Show terms, Berlin is a city of Jeremys marooned in a nation of Marks. My "
