Home > Author > Z.B. Heller
1 " I didn't want to tell him that I was so wet that Noah would have had to build an ark to avoid the flood in my pants - Moxie "
― Z.B. Heller , The Chronicles of Moxie
2 " Apparently, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. "
3 " No, that’s the thing. He was smug, cute, hot and completely flirty.” “Horrible. What a fucking bastard. What is he thinking, trying to be flirtatious with you? I’ll cut off his balls. "
4 " Well, maybe those men don’t know what kind of pleasure you can give a woman using a dildo, while she begs you for the real thing. "
5 " Pulling him all the way out, his c*#@ came free from his jeans with a thud, and my eyes went wide as saucers. This was not a penis but an anaconda. His d* was a weapon of mass destruction and could have had its own area code. To make matters more frightening, Peter was uncut. I was dealing with a hybrid: an anaconda turtle. "
― Z.B. Heller , Tied Together (Tied Together, #1)
6 " Grandpa, as far as any child is concerned, their parents don't have any sort of genitals. It's all blank down there. Like Barbie and Ken dolls. "
7 " So you’ve never had sex, but you’ve done other stuff, right? "
― Z.B. Heller , Sex Ed
8 " I want you to be happy and you need to know that you are beautiful inside and out. Really start believing in yourself, Moxie, and relationships will bloom into something beautiful and honest. "
9 " My outing was going to be the baddest bitch of a coming-out party known to man. "
10 " My Man F*#$*& Another Pooper and I Went Into a Stupor. "
11 " Grandpa, as far as any child is concerned, their parents don’t have any sort of genitals. It’s all blank down there. Like Barbie and Ken dolls. "
12 " How come you’re still a virgin? "
13 " This is a terrible idea,” I whispered into Sophie’s ear as we made our way to the club. “Stop being a fucking pussy. It’s time you put your asshole on display so some cocksucker can put his prize into the depths of the dark beyond. "
14 " I was outed by accident when I was seventeen years old. I had a whole elaborate plan how I was going to tell my parents I was gay. I was going to decorate my family’s living room with rainbow-colored flags, cook up some rainbow Jell-O, and have a Cher CD playing. I didn’t even like Cher, but from what I heard, she was a gay idol. My outing was going to be the baddest bitch of a coming-out party known to man. Even "
15 " It was a few days post-Dickocalypse, and I was sitting on my couch with a large bag of frozen peas on my crotch. "
― Z.B. Heller
16 " Jax, I’m way over that. Dad started teaching me about sex before I was even out of diapers, when I found a butt plug in their room and thought it was a pacifier. "
