Home > Author > Stewart Lee Beck
1 " I'm online, therefore I am. "
― Stewart Lee Beck , China Simplified: Language Gymnastics
2 " As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute. "
― Stewart Lee Beck
3 " I can't seem to recall if I've ever had amnesia before. "
4 " My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted. "
5 " Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance? "
6 " I've googled OCD about 45 times so far today. "
7 " Does anyone know a guy named Rich who turned out poor? "
8 " I bought a book on willpower, but I only got halfway through. "
9 " Once upon a time, a human belittled another human who spoke broken English, until the first human discovered English was the second human's third or fourth language, and then the first human felt rather stupid and decided to shut the f*** up. "
10 " In terms of China's history, language, and culture, I find the more I dig, the deeper the hole gets. "
11 " My wife says I'm full of half-baked ideas, so from now on, I'll microwave myself for 45-seconds before speaking. "
12 " Once upon a time, there was a Jew who loved a Muslim who loved a Christian who loved an atheist, and they all lived happily ever after. "
