7
" What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network. "
― Dav Pilkey , Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers (Captain Underpants, #10)
9
" The turkeys were chunky
With smiley, beaked faces,
And they greeted the children
With downy embraces.
So out through the barnyard
They ran and they flew,
And they gobbled and giggled
As friends sometimes do.
Then somebody spotted
An ax by the door,
And she asked Farmer Nuggett
What it was for.
With a blink of his eye
And a twist of his head,
The old farmer told
A grim tale of dread:
“Tonight,” said Mack Nuggett,
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”
The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.
“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.
And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.
And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!). "
― Dav Pilkey , 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
14
" O’er rivers, through woods,
With winding and weaves,
Their school bus sailed on
Through the new-fallen leaves.
When out on the road
There arose such a clatter,
They threw down their windows
To see what was the matter.
When what with their wondering eyes
Should they see,
But a miniature farm
And eight tiny turkey.
And a little old man
So lively and rugged,
They knew in a moment
It was Farmer Mack Nuggett.
He was dressed all in denim
From his head to his toe,
With a pinch of polyester
And a dash of Velcro.
And then in a twinkling
They heard in the straw
The prancing and pawing
Of each little claw.
More rapid than chickens
His cockerels they came.
He whistled and shouted
And called them by name:
“Now Ollie, now Stanley, now Larry and Moe,
On Wally, on Beaver, on Shemp and Groucho! "
― Dav Pilkey , 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
15
" Tonight,” said Mack Nuggett,
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”
The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.
“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.
And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.
And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).
The boys and girls drank up
Their drinks in the hay,
Then thanked old Mack Nuggett
And waddled away.
They limped to the school bus
All huffing and puffing--
It’s not easy to walk
With hot turkey stuffing.
And then, as the school bus drove off in the night,
Mack Nuggett looked ‘round--not a turkey in sight! "
― Dav Pilkey , 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
