Home > Author > Andrea Lochen
1 " It was a lesson she was still learning. When she had first started nursing, she had taken every death personally, like she was losing her father all over again. Every patient lost under her care was a little piece of death she would carry around with her until the end of her own life. But the alternative seemed so unfeeling. Tina and the other nurses could crack jokes and banter back and forth about contestants on American Idol before the body of a deceased patient was even cold. It was a coping mechanism, she knew, but not necessarily one she thought she would ever adopt. There had to be something in between. Olive had been called a bleeding heart before, but her heart no longer had the same plasticity and tenderness—it was scarred and worn beyond repair "
― Andrea Lochen , The Repeat Year
2 " What made Olive the saddest about the Gardners was that everyone wanted to be enshrined in someone’s memory. It was the only way of living on after death, really: in the minds of loved ones. Memories were the only things that made aging bearable, a way of reverting to better, simpler days. "
3 " She loved him, and she was going to do everything she could to get him back. She hadn’t come this far just to walk away. He was the love of her life, dammit. The man she wanted to marry. The world had reversed its orbit to bring them back together, for Pete’s sake, and she wasn’t going down without a fight. Fate could only do so much; the rest was up to her. "
4 " What good were fate and fortune anyway? If there was some sort of plan she was supposed to follow, it was unreadable to her and impossible to stick to. She was tired of fate, which was probably just a made-up concept invented by humans to feel like something or someone was guiding them anyway. God, spirits, cookies, whatever. She was so sick of buying into the idea that there was actually meaning behind any of this. It was just her, blind and alone, making a mess of her life on her own, thank you very much. "
― Andrea Lochen
5 " Love had still seemed like such a paltry thing in the face of all my doubts then, much the way it felt now. David had worries my love couldn’t touch, fears my love couldn’t easily dispel. My love seemed like a well-worn blanket instead of the titanium shield I needed. "
― Andrea Lochen , Imaginary Things
6 " It’s like I’m trying to keep the bad away with one hand while holding on to the good with the other, and it just doesn’t work. It’s stupid. I need both hands. So I guess I just have to spread out my arms and accept the bad with the good. "
7 " [A dog is] a bundle of pure love, gift-wrapped in fur. "
8 " I know a little something about fear, honey. I know what a relief it feels like to give into it at first. It’s not hard to persuade yourself that you’re doing the right thing—that you’re making the smart, safe decision. But fear is insidious. It takes anything you’re willing to give it, the parts of your life you don’t mind cutting out, but when you’re not looking, it takes anything else it damn well pleases, too. "
9 " It’s easy to point out someone else’s mistake, harder to recognize your own. Especially because most people—except the lucky few like ourselves—are forced to live with their mistakes. So they learn to justify their mistakes, build on them, until they can look back and convince themselves that their mistake was inevitable all along, a good choice, in fact. An unwed teenage mother can look back at her unexpected pregnancy fondly six years down the road once the child’s out of her hair and in school all day. She wouldn’t dare go back and fix that mistake because it’s become part of her life. "
10 " It’s not called ‘falling in love’ for no reason. It’s scary! It’s like jumping out of a plane with no parachute. Or bungee-jumping without your cord attached. Or hang-gliding with only one wing. "
11 " Ah, selfish. There’s that word again.” Sherry smirked. “It’s been hurled at me many a time, because being a mother and wife is all about selflessness, see?” She imitated a perky, syrupy-sweet voice. “Giving up every molecule of your soul. If you want anything for yourself, you’re accused of being selfish. Marriage and especially motherhood mean being condemned to play second fiddle your entire life. "
12 " She watched Sprocket rolling in the grass on his back with joyful abandon. That was why people loved dogs. Dogs embraced life and savored every second of it, no matter if it meant looking like a total dork. "
― Andrea Lochen , Versions of Her
13 " Not only was [her dog] a good companion, he was also like a permission slip to be more present in the world. "
14 " Sometimes I felt like I was drawn to mania. That Patrick was right, and I had loved him only during his manic episodes. That mania was true love. And it could consume you like it had consumed Patrick, or it could leave you feeling tired and used up, like it had left me. Nothing seemed to exist in between. "
15 " No one else in the world could strike a nerve in [her] quite like her sister. "
16 " I can promise you that I could be sent back to live this year a hundred times, and I would always choose you. I would always. Choose. You. "
17 " I see you, and I suddenly forget why I was keeping score. That’s why I stayed away, I guess. It was a last-ditch effort to protect myself. Because you totally, utterly undo me. "
18 " She felt empty yet full, spent yet bursting with energy, drowsy yet wide awake. She felt love. "
19 " During her life, their mom had been like a folded paper fan to them, and they were slowly starting to unfurl her, fold by fold, to see the delicate, ornate pattern painted on her skin. It was hard to let that go, to simply snap the fan shut once she knew what fascinating complexities were inside. "
20 " Isn’t a daughter’s perspective on her mother’s life always a little myopic? "
