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1 " Things are what they are, and whatever will be, will be. "
― Jonas Jonasson , The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared (The Hundred-Year-Old Man, #1)
2 " Well, now you can see how sensible it is not to start your day by guessing what might happen... After all, how long would I have had to go on guessing before I guessed this? "
3 " Life, here I come!' he said. And was immediately and fatally run over by a bus. "
― Jonas Jonasson , The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden
4 " Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying it wasn't hard to play stupid when you are stupid. Allan said that he didn't know how hard it was, because the idiots Allan had met so far in his life had all tried to do the opposite. "
― Jonas Jonasson
5 " He turned to take one last look at the Old People’s Home that – until a few moments ago – he had thought would be his last residence on Earth, and then he told himself that he could die some other time, in some other place.The hundred-year-old man set off in his pee-slippers (so called because men of an advanced age rarely pee further than their shoes), first through a park and then alongside an open field where a market was occasionally held in the otherwise quiet provincial town. "
6 " Allan looked at the bus and then at the suitcase, then again at the bus and then again at the suitcase. It has wheels, he said to himself. And there's a strap to pull it by too. And then Allan surprised himself by making what - you have to admit - was decision to say 'yes' to life.p.12. "
7 " His experience was that Justice was rarely as just as it ought to be. The others agreed. "
8 " The hundred-year-old man had never let himself be irritated by people, even when there was a good reason to be, and he was not annoyed by the uncouth manner of this youth. "
9 " Her heart broke. Because of sorrow. Because of guilt. Because of repressed dreams, visions and fantasies. Because almost nothing in her life had gone as she'd hoped. "
10 " Allan Emmanuelle Karlsson closed his eyes and felt perfectly convinced that he would now pass away for ever. It had been exciting, the entire journey, but nothing lasts for ever, except possibly general stupidity. "
11 " If you don't think you have enough problems, you should acquire a mammal in Sweden just hours before you're about to fly home to the other side of the world, and then insist that the animal must come along in your luggage. "
12 " Revenge is like politics, one thing always leads to another until bad has become worse, and worse has become worst. "
13 " Allan interrupted the two brothers by saying that he had been out and about in the world and if there was one thing he had learned it was that the very biggest and apparently most impossible conflicts on earth were based on the dialogue: “You are stupid, no, it’s you who are stupid, no, it’s you who are stupid.” The solution, said Allan, was often to down a bottle of vodka together and then look ahead. "
14 " Go and nose out the next piece of shit... as one said in the trade. If nothing else was available, you could run an article on the latest miracle diet. That always worked. "
15 " An exciting follow-up to this event was the many ups and downs when the most developed country in the world made such a mess of its own presidential election that it took several weeks for the Supreme Court to decide 5–4 that the candidate with the most votes had lost. With this, George W. Bush became the president of the United States, while Al Gore was reduced to an environmental agitator whom not even the anarchists in Stockholm paid much attention to. Incidentally, Bush later invaded Iraq in order to eliminate all the weapons Saddam Hussein didn’t have. "
16 " have never once in my life seen a fanatic with a sense of humor. AMOS OZ "
17 " And now we shall each take a glass.’‘Sounds good, said Allan. ‘The sea air tires you out.’After the very first glass, Allan insisted on a change in the way the two men addressed each other. To say Yury Borisovich to Yury Borisovich every time he needed to attract Yury Borisovich’s attention just wasn’t practical in the long term. "
18 " Julius applied the brakes just in time. The corpse fell forward and hit its forehead on an iron handle.‘That would have been really painful if the circumstances had been a little different,’ said Allan. ‘There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead,’ said Julius. "
19 " - Zniszczę kapitalizm! Słyszysz? Zniszczę każdego jednego kapitalistę! A zacznę od ciebie, psie, jak nam nie pomożesz z bombą! (...)- Myślałem nad jedną rzeczą - powiedział Allan.- Jaką? - spytał Stalin ze złością.- Że może wziąłbyś i zgolił te wąsy? "
20 " To think that Allan was going to enjoy one more breakfast in his life without porridge! That was good news indeed. "
