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1 " The smallest issues can become the most important things in life and reality slips away. "
― David Millar , Racing Through the Dark
2 " The past is as important as the future, but we only live in the here and now. "
3 " I'd just killed some of the best riders in the world - and I was clean. I'd taken nothing - no EPO, no cortisone, no testosterone, no painkillers, no caffeine. I had justified to myself that I was a great rider without drugs - yet perversely given myself the green light to dope again. I'd proved what I could do clean - how much more could I do if I was doped? "
4 " What an idiot I'd been. What a spoilt brat. What a bloody fool. "
5 " It was very quiet at the hotel, as if there had been a death in the family. When you have quit the Tour, nobody really knows what to say or do. (...) Everything I'd previously achieved meant nothing; all I was now was a pro rider who couldn't finish the Tour de France. "
6 " This place has been my home. They liked me here. Not any more. Now they will look the other way. Now I don't belong. "
7 " Nothing was being done to help the non-dopers, to encourage or support them. Even the clean riders like myself and Moncout knew how easy it was to cheat the tests. "
8 " I might have changed, but that did not mean the sport had. "
9 " I didn't want to take it. I knew it was a powerful drug, but I also knew it was a catabolic drug that consumed the body. "
10 " If you're not at the front, you're not in the race. "
11 " I didn't care about goals or expectations any more, I was just determined to race my heart out. "
12 " It was ridiculous really. I had just won a major race despite not being in top form, yet I was going to dope. "
13 " I was awarded 'Most Aggressive Rider of the Day', generally given to the most spectacular loser of the day. "
14 " One group of riders doped, the others alongside them racing clean. You can work out for yourselves which group was fastest. "
15 " I had grown used to getting a pat on the back and being told after a good result: 'Well done, David - you should be happy, you're the first clean rider. "
16 " People do make mistakes and I think they should be punished. But they should be forgiven and given the opportunity for a second chance. We are human beings. "
― David Millar
17 " I was not a doper, I told myself - I just injected myself to recover and needed pills to sleep. "
18 " Preparation was a term I was to hear more and more. It had another more sinister meaning. If you were prepared, it meant you were doped. "
19 " If the riders, governing bodies, teams, race organisers and media weren't doing anything about it, then what the hell could I, a 20-year-old neo-pro from Scotland, do about it? "
20 " The manner in which one loses the battle can sometimes outshine the victory. "
