Home > Author > Camille Pagán
121 " On an unseasonably warm day in early February, a little over a year after I left Vieques, I brought two new lives into the world: Isabel Milagros, who emerged with fair skin and a full head of light curls; and Charlotte Patrícia, who has Shiloh’s caramel skin, and is otherwise the spitting image of Paul as a baby. Both girls are healthy, preternaturally calm, and a source of joy that I can never adequately put into words. "
― Camille Pagán , Life and Other Near-Death Experiences
122 " I was lonely at times, but not alone. "
123 " to be compassionate with myself, even when my will is weak and my body fails me; to give myself freely to those I love, even when it means my heart may be broken; and to live fully and completely while I have the chance—just "
124 " It would have been better, I thought suddenly, if he had dropped dead instead of leaving me. Then I could have enjoyed the pure, unadulterated grief of being a widow. "
― Camille Pagán , Woman Last Seen in Her Thirties
125 " And as for you and those damn ten pounds you’re always complaining about? I think you should just stop obsessing and start living. "
― Camille Pagán , The Art of Forgetting
126 " as bitter and medicinal as the martini was, I set about drinking it as though each sip would make it more appetizing. Which proved to be true. Five "
127 " Laura tells herself, This is now, and feels happy because the now could not be forgotten as it was happening. "
128 " I’ve come to understand that the way I will truly honor my mother’s memory is not with a big act, but through my daily choices: to be compassionate with myself, even when my will is weak and my body fails me; to give myself freely to those I love, even when it means my heart may be broken; and to live fully and completely while I have the chance—just as my mother did. "
129 " Because I would be damned if I let another person's bad choice dictate my decisions. "
130 " I was beginning to think waiting was often the worst idea. Sometimes the longer you thought about something, the harder it became to make a decision. "
131 " I allowed myself to admit what I had spent months denying: I had loved him so long that my love for him had become a part of me. I could no sooner undo it than I could rewrite my own genetic code. "
132 " I knew global warming was killing polar bears, the Chinese population blew past one billion several years ago, and rhythms was the longest word without a vowel in the English language. I did not know, however, that my childhood sweetheart, the man I had loved for nearly twenty years (twenty years!) was sexually attracted to men. “No, "
133 " flipped "
134 " At one point I found myself simultaneously cursing him and reaching for the phone to call him and tell him all about how my terrible husband had wronged me, as if there were two versions of him: the imposter who had just hurt me, and the real Tom, who would curse imposter Tom and make it all better. "
135 " There was a reason that instead of daydreaming about my husband taking me passionately against a wall, I fantasized about replacing him with a wife. "
― Camille Pagán , I'm Fine and Neither Are You
136 " Upset? Upset was realizing your best black dress was now several shades of maroon because you had entrusted the laundry to your husband, who had confirmed your long-standing suspicion that high standardized test scores had an inverse relationship to practical intelligence. "
137 " Tom would have come out eventually, although I suspect that if I’d had the chance to tell him my Really Bad News before he told me his, he probably would have kept his secret under wraps until after I’d died. How convenient that would have been for him. I could just imagine him telling people, “I loved my wife so much that after her untimely passing, I just couldn’t feel that way about another woman again—ever. So now I date men.” But "
138 " Something Shiloh taught me is that to see the night sky clearly, you can’t overfocus; it’s the stars outside of your direct vision that come in brightest. So it goes with life’s triumphs and troubles. Though it would be several months after my departure that I could fully recognize this, my stay in Vieques gave me the distance to see my situation for what it was. And even with illness and separation, what it was, was incredibly good, simply by virtue of its existence. "
139 " guts you, then saunters away as the vultures swoop down to steal what’s left. "
140 " Life is a near-death experience. "