Home > Author > Amir Fathizadeh
1 " If you look closely at your relationships, you will see that the effectiveness of your relationships is determined by how well you communicate. How well you communicate with others is determined, by and large, by how well you listen. "
― Amir Fathizadeh , Gossip: The Road to Ruin
2 " People often talk behind each other’s backs in a smug manner, intending to gain other’s approval or favor. It seems gossip is, unfortunately, part of who we are. But after looking at it closely, I learned that it does nothave to be. I believe the tendency to gossip is more environmental than physiological. And we can certainly overcome such environmental influences – but only if wework at it.In this book, we will open up a dialogue about gossip. We will examine why people gossip. We will look at what motivates people to gossip. Most importantly, we will look at the impact of gossip and cover strategies and tips on how to alter that behavior. "
3 " Gossiping was an all too common pastime for people in my community – better than anything on the radio or television. The sources of new material were virtuallyendless and always readily available. The motivations to create or pass on gossip varied from person to person and situation to situation. Rarely was the news positive.On the one hand, gossip seemed quite juicy. It could be intoxicatingly pleasurable. On the other hand, gossip tended to make the unknowing targets miserable when word eventually got back to them.Since I was still far too young to truly understand how I was contributing to this negative cycle, I continued on as though nothing was amiss. Trying to do something about the problem never occurred to me at the time.Later in life, as I became an adult, I took the opportunity to take a really long, deep look at my behavior and at myself. Slowly, I began to unravel the deep, subtle and harmful impact gossip had on my life and on the lives ofother people that I loved. "
4 " As humans, we are all driven to avoid being wrong. Even when we may have some doubts, the desire to be right about almost everything seems to be part of our DNA. Whenever we’re trying to get others to believe us, to agree with us, to take our side, or even to feel sorry for us, being right about what we claim is usually of utmost importance. Our inner voice is always telling us we must prevail, even if logic or other factors suggest we might just be wrong. OMG, perish the thought! As soon as we take a stand that we’re right – at any cost – someone or something else must automatically be wrong. Consider this. What is the true cost of always having to be right? The emotional cost … the reputation cost … the relationship cost. Before putting your stake in the ground, take a deep breath, ponder the costs, and then articulate your position.It takes a lot of courage for someone to admit his or her burning need to be right, but the pathway to altering any relationship for the better is by taking of responsibility for your actions. "
5 " The gossiper’s unwillingness or inability to confront the target of their gossip becomes a defense mechanism and their cocoon becomes an effective firewall. They will avoid such a confrontation for fear that they and/or their story will be invalidated when and if new facts surface to support the position of the gossip victim. "
6 " A very powerful thing to do, when confronted with the issue of gossip in your life, is to recognize that you are about to go into your cocoon, giving in to your misguided justifications. Before you slip into that cocoon, shake it off and get back into the present moment. "
