4
" So many things were testing his faith. There was the Bible, of course, but the Bible was a book, and so were Bleak House, Treasure Island, Ethan Frome and The Last of the Mohicans. Did it then seem probable, as he had once overheard Dunbar ask, that the answers to riddles of creation would be supplied by people too ignorant to understand the mechanics of rainfall? Had Almighty God, in all His infinite wisdom, really been afraid that men six thousand years ago would succeed in building a tower to heaven? "
― Joseph Heller , Catch-22
7
" There's nothing mysterious about it, He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about, a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain? "
― Joseph Heller , Catch-22
16
" His heart cracked, and he fell in love. He wondered if she would marry him.
“Tu sei pazzo,” she told him with a pleasant laugh.
“Why am I crazy?” he asked.
“Perché non posso sposare.”
“Why can’t you get married?”
“Because I am not a virgin,” she answered.
“What has that got to do with it?”
“Who will marry me? No one wants a girl who is not a virgin.”
“I will. I’ll marry you.”
“Ma non posso sposarti.”
“Why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo.”
“Why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. “You won’t marry me because I’m crazy, and you say I’m crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?”
“Si.”
“Tu sei pazz’!” he told her loudly.
“Perché?” she shouted back at him indignantly, her unavoidable round breasts rising and falling in a saucy huff beneath the pink chemise as she sat up in bed indignantly. “Why am I crazy?”
“Because you won’t marry me.”
“Stupido!” she shouted back at him, and smacked him loudly and flamboyantly on the chest with the back of her hand. “Non posso sposarti! Non capisci? Non posso sposarti.”
“Oh, sure, I understand. And why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo!”
“And why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
“Because I want to marry you. Carina, ti amo,” he explained, and he drew her gently back down to the pillow. “Ti amo molto.”
“Tu sei pazzo,” she murmured in reply, flattered.
“Perché?”
“Because you say you love me. How can you love a girl who is not a virgin?”
“Because I can’t marry you.”
She bolted right up again in a threatening rage. “Why can’t you marry me?” she demanded, ready to clout him again if he gave an uncomplimentary reply. “Just because I am not a virgin?”
“No, no, darling. Because you’re crazy. "
― Joseph Heller , Catch-22