123
" We are beginning to see the unfolding plan of God. Jesus is going to gather around him a core group of people who will continue his work after his departure. Jesus will preach only for a short time, about three years, in a small land. Yet his message is for the whole world and for all the ages to come. What is important for him is to form the hearts of a few disciples who will travel, as poor pilgrims, throughout the world, to announce and communicate his message of love and forgiveness. These few disciples will break down the barriers that separate people and cultures from one another and so bring peace. Many young people today, like these first disciples of Jesus, are disillusioned by our rich societies. They are looking for an ideal, a vision that gives meaning to their lives. They search, but what do they find? A world where material success has become the most important thing in life. Many seek to break through the competition and rivalry, greed and corruption that they see and hear everywhere. They are often shocked by the way our beautiful, fragile earth is treated and depressed by the continuing armed conflicts. Some slip into a world of drugs, searching for an experience that takes them away for a few moments from our rigidly structured society. They hope to find relief from the pain of despair, to taste the “infinite” and forget the harshness of our world. "
― Jean Vanier , Drawn Into the Mystery of Jesus Through the Gospel of John
128
" Community as belonging . . .
Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner pain and difficulties in relationships with parents, is different. But in each one there is a yearning for communion and belonging, but at the same time a fear of it. Love is what we most want, yet it is what we fear the most. Love makes us vulnerable and open, but then we can be hurt through rejection and separation. We may crave for love, but then be frightened of losing our liberty and creativity. We want to belong to a group, but we fear a certain death in the group because we may not be seen as unique. We want love, but fear the dependence and commitment it implies; we fear being used, manipulated, smothered and spoiled. We are all so ambivalent toward love, communion and belonging. "
― Jean Vanier , Community And Growth
136
" This book has been about community . . . But when all is said and done, each of us, and in the deepest part of our self, has to learn to accept our own essential solitude.
In each of our hearts, there is a wound - the wound of our own loneliness, which hurts at moments of setback and can be even more painful at the time of our death. Death is a passage which cannot be made in community. It has to be made completely alone. And all suffering, sadness and depression is a foretaste of that death, a manifestation of our deep wound which is part of the human condition. . . . We can experience moments of communion and love, of prayer and ecstasy - but they are only moments. We quickly find ourselves back in the incompleteness which is the result of our immortality and limitations and those of others. . .
Even the most beautiful community can never heal the wound of loneliness that we carry. It is only when we discover that this loneliness can become a sacrament that we touch wisdom, for this sacrament is purification and presence of God. If we stop fleeing from our own solitude, and if we accept our wound, we will discover that this is the way to meet Jesus Christ. It is when we stop fleeing into work and activity, noise and illusion, and when we remain conscious of our wound, that we will meet God. . . .
Those who enter marriage believing that it will slake their thirst for communion and heal their wound will not find happiness. In the same way, those who enter community hoping that it will totally fulfil and heal them, will be disappointed. We will only find the true meaning of marriage or community when we have understood and accepted our wound. It is only when we stand up, with all our failings and sufferings, and try to support others rather than withdraw into ourselves, that we can fully live the life of marriage or community. It is only when we stop seeing others as a refuge that we will become, despite our wound, a source of life and comfort. It is only then that we will discover peace. "
― Jean Vanier , Community And Growth
140
" It is fairly natural and perhaps even necessary that a new community is taken up with its own originality and tends to idealize itself. If it didn't believe itself to be unique, perhaps it would never have been founded at all. It's like love, which always starts by idealization of the other: a baby is always the most gorgeous in the world to its parents, and a bride is always the most beautiful to her husband. With time, both parents and married couples become more realistic; perhaps too they become more committed, more faithful and more loving.
It is understandable that a new community should be turned in on itself, strongly conscious of its qualities and originality, and giving thanks for these. At the start of a marriage, a couple has to take time to forge its unity, this isn't egoism, but a necessary stage and growth. With time, the community must stand back a little to discover the beauty and particular gifts of others, as well as its own limitations. Once it has found its own identity and discovered how the Holy Spirit is guiding it, it must be very attentive to the manifestations of the Spirit in others. It should not believe that it is the only community to have the privilege of being inspired by the Holy Spirit; it should listen to what the Spirit is saying to others. This will enable it to rediscover its own gifts and mission and encourage it to be more faithful to them. This in turn will enable it to discover its place in the Church and in humanity as a whole. If it is not attentive, the community risks missing a decisive turning point in its own growth. "
― Jean Vanier , Community And Growth
