Home > Author > Tracey Ward
1 " Merry Christmas.” he says quietly, pulling something from his back pocket.I frown in confusion then smile in delight when I see what it is. It’s a shiny, sharp trowel with a holly green handle. It’s stolen from the gardens for sure. It is the single greatest gift I’ve ever received.“It’s so pretty.” I whisper happily, turning it over to test its edge.“I promised you something shiny.”“And you delivered.” I press my finger against the tip then pull it back quickly. “It’s sharp.”“Why else have it, right? Keep it with you when you can. If something goes down while I’m gone I want to know you have it.”I nod my head as I slip it into my back pocket. The handle sticks up but the point is hidden.When I look up at Vin my heart skips. His eyes are sharp, intense.“Come with me.” he commands quietly.“No.” I reply immediately.I was waiting for this. From the moment he woke me up, the second I saw his eyes, I knew. And just as quickly as I recognized it, I knew what my answer would be.He shakes his head in disbelief. “You know I’m not coming back here. Not for you, not for anyone.”“Maybe not, but if I go with you then you definitely won’t.”“It’s not going to work, Joss.” he tells me seriously. “The Hive won’t bite. They don’t want to rock the boat with the Colonies and the pot isn’t sweet enough to convince them to try. They’ll pass and everyone here is going to either stay here forever or die in a revolt.”“Nats included.” I remind him coolly.“She’s a big girl. She knows how it really is. She can yell at me all she wants, but she knows just as well as I do that no one will come here to help.”“Especially if you don’t ask.”“What the hell do you want from me?” he whispers fiercely. “You want me to go out there and rally the troops, bring them back here riding on a tall white horse and save the day? I’m no hero. I never have been. It’s how I’ve stayed alive.”“It’s also a great way to stay alone. And if you do this, if you go and pretend we don’t exist, then I’ll pretend I never knew you. Nats will too, I’m sure. You’ll be nothing to no one and won’t that make life easier for you? So go on and go, you coward, and don’t ever look back because there’s nothing to look back on. You were never even here far as I’m concerned.”I turn to leave him standing there in the cold beside the words I wrote to Ryan, words that have gone unnoticed and feel like nothing in the night. I’m spun around roughly and pinned against Vin’s chest. His breath is coming even and hard, sharp inhales and exhales that burst against my face leaving my skin freezing in their absence.“Don’t turn your back on me.” he growls.I can see the enforcer in him now. The hard ass who lived on the outside by the skin of his teeth and grit under his knuckles. It’s something I understand, something I can respect. Something I can relate to.I lean closer, no longer being pulled but rather pushing against him until our faces almost touch.“No, don’t you turn your back on me. On us.” I whisper harshly, pushing at him aggressively. He lets me go and I stumble back from him.“I’m no hero.” he repeats.“How do you know until you’ve tried?” * * *“You’ll come back for us, Vin.” I whisper in his ear. “I know you will.”I know no such thing, but I want it to be true and I can tell he does too so I tell him that it is. I lie to us both and I hope it makes it real.Vin nods his head beside mine and buries his face in my shoulder. I do the same. We stand huddled together against the cold and the uncertainty of everything tomorrow will bring. "
― Tracey Ward
2 " Next time I expect you to act a little friendlier and remember that we would like to get out of here before we die.”He rises to leave but I stand quickly as well, leaning over the table and shoving my finger in his face.“And next time you try and remember that you’re not my pimp, I’m not one of your girls and if you want my help you’ll watch the way you talk to me. Understood?”This is a moment in my life when I seriously wonder if I’m going to get slapped. I’m mouthing off to a Stable Boy from The Hive, a guy whose job it is to keep women in line, doing what they’re told and making the very testy, very violent men at the top of his food chain happy. He minds the coffers and the coins all have PMS. It can’t be an easy job. It could easily be one he manages with an iron fist.His jaw works under the taught skin of his face. It clenches and releases as he chews on what I’ve said. He carefully, dispassionately considers me. His calm is freaking me out. I’d rather he was yelling. I’d almost rather he hit me. Eventually what he does is smile.“Understood, Kitten.” he replies, his voice low and rough.His eyes bore into me with a heat that I recognize. A hunger I’ve seen before. "
3 " A shower. Still equipped with warm, running water.” I say longingly.I refuse to let up about the house ban. It’s too much, in my humble opinion, but I didn’t see Dawn of the Dead so what do I know? “Don’t you wish you could have a warm shower, Jordan? I do. We could go in just for that. I’ll stand guard for you, you stand guard for me.”He chuckles, but still refuses to look at the houses. “I scrub your back, you scrub mine?”“If it means I can take a hot shower, you can scrub anything of mine you want.” I stop walking, a furious blush exploding on my already sun pinked cheeks. My hand goes over my mouth and I stare at him wide eyed. “Oh my God.”“Yeah.” he says smiling, enjoying my discomfort. “Wow.”“I feel like I went too far.”“I don’t know, I’m kind of warming up to the whole four walls of a house idea.”“The world has been over for barely a day and I’m already selling my body.”He bumps my shoulder with his. “Hey, we work with what we’ve got and you have a lot of currency.”I frown, confused, and look sideways at him. “What does that even mean?”He’s frowning too, his face as confused as mine. “I don’t really know.”“What was it supposed to mean? Cause it sounds like you’re saying I have a lot of body to sell. Did you call me fat? A fat prostitute?”“Okay, yeah. It absolutely did not come out the way it was meant to. "
4 " It took you long enough to come back,” Lexy tells me bitingly.The girl is ruining my meal. Ever since the stable girls showed up, she’s been attached like glue to Vin’s side. I recognize it for what it is—infatuation. No way Vin is leading her on. He barely tolerates her, which isn’t to say he isn’t sleeping with her, but he definitely isn’t putting pretty pictures in her head. She’s doing that all on her own.“That’s what he said,” I grumble around a large bite of bread, gesturing to Vin.“We were sure you’d left us to die.”“Sorry to disappoint.”“Don’t be. We wouldn’t have been sorry to see you go.”I look up from my plate to eye her carefully. I do it for too long. She twitches under my stare, making me grin.“‘We,’ huh? You’re a ‘we’ now?”Vin looks up sharply. “What? No.”“Vin,” Lexy protests.“Are you sure?” I ask him.“Yes,” he tells me angrily. He stares Lexy down. “And, no, we’re not a ‘we.’ We’re nothing.”“I’m sure he doesn’t mean it, Lex,” I tell her consolingly. “Never give up hope.”“Kitten,” Vin growls in warning.Lexy shoots me an icy stare from across the table. It’s cute how hard she tries. “Be sure to watch your back out there, Kitten,” she spits sarcastically. “I’d hate to see you get hurt.”I put up my finger in her face, getting serious. “Watch yourself. You’re toeing a dangerous line with me right now and I don’t want to have to remind you what happened to the last girl who threatened me. Forget Vin, I’ll put you to bed with Caroline. You get me?”Lexy pales. She glances once at Vin, then Ryan and Trent. All of them keep their heads down, carefully pretending they have no idea what’s happening. Finally she stands slowly, turns, and leaves without a word.“Well, that’s handy,” I mumble, picking up my bread.“Kinda harsh,” Ryan comments.I hate that I immediately feel a twinge of guilt just from those two words from him. “I did him a favor,” I say defensively. “That girl was one kiss away from collecting his hair. I don’t have time for that kind of crazy.”“Amen to that,” Vin says heartily, raising his glass to me.“Calm down, Romeo. You’re the idiot who keeps getting us into these situations.”“‘Us’?” he asks with a sly grin. “Are we an ‘us’ now?”“No,” Ryan replies darkly. "
5 " Yeah, alright."Anything to end this conversation about her father's breast. "
6 " Syd is behind us stuffing the last of his gear in his bag hastily. I woke him up late. I waited until Alissa and I were already set to go and he's scurrying to catch up with us. Was it on purpose? A power play of some kind? A petty manipulation on my part to feel in control? You bet your ass it was. "
7 " I can't fire my gun without bringing attention to myself while surrounded by more zombies than tweens at a One Direction concert, and I cannot win in a hand to hand fight. Against the zombie, not One Direction. I'd destroy those guys. "
8 " Leave tomorrow for the cowards. Today you must be fearless. "
