Home > Author > Robert Benchley
1 " Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. "
― Robert Benchley
2 " The only cure for a real hangover is death. "
3 " It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. "
4 " A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. "
5 " There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. "
― Robert Benchley , Pluck and Luck
6 " Streets flooded. Please advise. "
7 " A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. "
8 " The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello. "
9 " Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got. "
10 " Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor? "
11 " Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. "
12 " Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "
13 " I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "
14 " One, two, three / Buckle my shoe. "
15 " As the storm came nearer I began to realize that I hadn't made the most of my three years' immunity. In fact, I hadn't done a single thing about cleaning up my life. I was, if anything, an even more logical target for lightning than the last time I was in range. And thunderstorms don't creep up on you at seven o'clock in the morning in a non-thunderstorm country for nothing, you know. I lined up a rather panicky schedule of reforms...But as the storm suddenly petered out and went off in the other direction nothing much has come out of it yet. I may have three years more, and these things can't be rushed. "
― Robert Benchley ,
16 " There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who do not. "
17 " The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. "
18 " There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't. "
19 " Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. "
20 " The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps. "
