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41 " most suicidal teens are different; they’re tempted to kill themselves. with me, i know i need to die; i should be killed for the things i’ve done. but i keep feeling this nudge, this TEMPTATION TO LIVE. and everyday i pray to god that i never lose that temptation. "
― Jake Vander-Ark , Lighthouse Nights
42 " Over the past several months, Amelía’s Google history had become a reference of her despair: “can’t have children, reasons for infertility in women, reasons for infertility in men, discussing infertility with husband, price of surrogate mothers, signs of depression, adoption agencies, infertility support groups…” The endless searches only provided two categories of results: medical sites that took pride in listing every worst-case scenario, and blogs written by white women with phrases like “silent suffering” and “living with uncertainty,” mixing in Bible verses about God’s Grace, none of which filled the void or helped Aimee ignore the fact that Mother’s Day was a month away and she would have to watch her family celebrate the one thing she wanted most and might never have. "
― Jake Vander-Ark , The Day I Wore Purple
43 " I’m trying to be an adult. I’m trying to be responsible. I’m trying not to call home crying. But it’s hard. It’s hard when every morning feels like a hangover. It’s hard when I hear voices every time I go to sleep. It’s hard when the only thing that would make me feel better is to crawl in bed with the one person who truly knows me, but I’m more afraid of her than the bears or the perverts or whoever the hell visits her when I’m away. "
― Jake Vander-Ark , Fallout Dreams
44 " Here's the key: only use adjectives when something is out of the ordinary. "
― Jake Vander-Ark , Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen