145
" Edgard’s backside rested against one counter; hers on the one across from him. She gulped her beer, cautioning herself to be tactful and calm, but what burst forth from her mouth was, “Are you in love with my husband?”
He visibly paled. And knocked back an equally big swallow of Budweiser in lieu of answering.
“I’ve heard Trevor’s side. I talked to Channing and to Colby. So that leaves you.”
“And if I say yes, Chassie? What then?”
“I’m totally thinkin’ we have a gunfight in the street to determine who’s tough enough to win Trevor’s affections,” she said lightly.
That brought a slight smile. “You are a smartass.”
“And you are avoidin’ the question, amigo.”
“Jesus, do you know how hard it is to look at you and answer that question?”
“No harder than it is to look you in the eye and ask it.”
“Touché.” Edgard picked at the label. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
147
" Warning signs went unheeded as the ferocious kisses continued, kicking Trevor’s need into high gear. But the unfamiliar prickle of Edgard’s beard on his cheek began to rouse him from that dark desire. Coupled with the low-pitched masculine moans—not Chassie’s feminine sighs—and Trevor broke away, knocking Edgard’s hands free.
“Stop. No.”
“Yes,” Edgard grabbed Trevor’s shirt. “This is why I’m here. Because it’s still there, Trevor. This need didn’t go away just because I did.”
“It don’t matter.”
“It should. God. Please let it matter.”
“Ed—”
“Don’t. Just…don’t.” Edgard gently rested his forehead against Trevor’s and retreated into silence.
The heat of their bodies, the cold air, the confusion, the passion, the anger, the guilt, all swirled in Trevor’s head until he didn’t know which way was up. Unable to squirm either closer or away, damn near unable to breathe, Trevor squeezed his eyes shut and gave in, leaning against Edgard, just for a moment.
Finally he dredged up a semblance of sanity. “I love her, Ed. I’m not with her because she was my second choice.”
“I know. Why do you think it hurts me so bad, meu amore?”
My love. That single, familiar endearment could prove to be his undoing. Another pause lingered before Trevor said, “I can’t do this. I swear to f**king God I cannot do this again.”
“We’ll figure something out this time.”
“No.”
“Look at me.”
Trevor shook his head.
“Goddammit. Look. At. Me.”
Heart thumping crazily, Trevor pulled back and caught the golden gaze that’d haunted his dreams since the day they’d gone from friends to something more.
Edgard curled one hand around Trevor’s face, keeping the other fisted in his shirt.
“Tell me how to fix this.”
“We can’t and talkin’ about it ain’t gonna change nothin’.”
“We were always better at f**king away our problems rather than talking them out, eh?”
No hint of a smile graced either of their faces. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
148
" Stop.”
“You don’t want me to stop, you stupid, stubborn bastard.” Edgard snarled and devoured Trevor’s mouth in another possessive, bruising kiss.
Before Trevor could break free from the temptation, a distressed gasp somewhere to the left speeded up the process. Trevor shoved Edgard away. He spun so fast he lost his balance. But the damage had been done.
Chassie stood in the shadows in absolute shock.
Chapter Seven
Not happening. Not happening. Not happening.
Her body, her will, her consciousness appeared to be floating in another dimension, as this one shifted and twisted into the surreal. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
Not happening. Not happening. Not happening.
She had not witnessed her husband in the arms of another man. She had not seen him kissing another man like he was everything in his world. She had not heard the details of how they’d been together, what they’d been together. She had not imagined how badly they wanted to be together now.
Not happening. Not happening. Not happening.
The mantra she’d used during her childhood to vanquish nightmares wasn’t working this time. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
152
" He could handle his former lover under his roof for a couple of days. No sweat, right?
But when Trevor’s eyes caught Edgard’s, the punch of lust whomped him as sharply as a hoof to the belly, making him just as breathless.
Dammit, don’t look at me that way, Ed. Please.
Edgard banked the hunger in those topaz-colored eyes and Trevor silently breathed a sigh of relief.
The blank stare was a reaction they’d both mastered during the years they’d spent together on the road. If sponsors, promoters or fans caught wind of his and Edgard’s nocturnal proclivities they would’ve been blackballed. Or would’ve been beat to shit on a regular basis if the other rodeo cowboys suspected he and Edgard weren’t merely traveling partners. There’d been no choice but to become discreet.
Nothing discreet about the way Edgard had eyeballed him.
“Trev, hon, you comin’?”
“Go on. I’ll be right in after I take care of this motor.” He retreated to the barn, needing to find his balance after being knocked sideways.
Edgard was here. Trevor’s gut clenched remembering the last time he’d seen the man. Remembering the misery on Edgard’s face, knowing his face reflected the same desolation when they’d said goodbye three and a half years ago.
Crippled by pain, fear, and loss, Trevor hadn’t had the balls to wrap Edgard in his arms one last time. He’d snapped off some dumbass comment and done nothing but sit on his ass in the horse trailer like a lump of moldy shit and watched him go.
No. Let him go.
He’d gotten drunk that night. And every night after for damn near six months. He’d f**ked every woman who’d crossed his path. Sex and booze did nothing to chase away the sense he’d made a huge mistake. Or on the really bad nights, his all-too smug relief that he’d never really felt “that way” about Edgard and he was glad the too-tempting bastard was gone for good. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
154
" Trev, there’s—”
“Hang on.” Metal grinding on metal screeched in the cold air. Then, “Motherfuckin’ piece of shit.”
Chassie glanced at Edgard who’d gone completely still.
“That’s not the way to talk in front of company, hon.”
“Who’s here?” Trevor spun around and froze.
A beat passed. Then Edgard said softly, “Hello, Trevor.”
No one spoke; no one moved.
Trevor roared, “You motherfuckin’ piece of shit.” He threw the wrench and bulled toward Edgard.
Crap. Maybe they weren’t friends after all.
Instead of tackling the man and pounding him into the ground, Trevor slapped Edgard on the back. Clasping him in a bear hug, lifting him in the air, practically swinging him in a circle.
Whoa. She’d never seen her husband so…exuberant. From seeing an old friend she’d never even heard of? Chassie’s eyes met Trevor’s in confusion and he hastily set Edgard down.
“Ah. Sorry, man. It’s just…” Trevor turned away.
As he composed himself, Chassie fired a sardonic look at Edgard. “Well, I reckon he’s happy to see you after all.”
For Christsake, Edgard was here. Standing in his goddamn front yard.
Next to his wife.
How was he supposed to deal with this situation? At least he’d stopped himself from laying a big, wet kiss on him.
Kissing another man. In front of his wife.
Fuck. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
155
" By the time Trevor finished scrubbing the machine oil from his hands, Chassie and Edgard had returned to the kitchen.
Chassie said, “Who wants coffee?”
“Sounds great, Chass.”
“There’s cookies, unless Trev ate them all. The man has a serious sweet tooth.”
“Then I oughta munch on you, darlin’, since you’re so durn sweet.” Trevor nibbled the side of her jaw and Chassie squealed. He reached above her head for the coffee cups on the pegs.
Trevor turned and saw Edgard staring at them. Not with jealousy, but with longing.
Simple affectionate moments had been rare between them and Trevor remembered it was one of the things Edgard had needed that Trevor hadn’t been able to offer him. Why did he feel just as guilty about that shortcoming now as he had back then?
Chassie poured the coffee. Trevor automatically grabbed the milk jug from the fridge and set it next to Edgard. He snagged a spoon from the dish rack, passing it and the sugar canister to Edgard, ignoring Chassie’s questioning stare.
Didn’t mean a damn thing he remembered exactly how Edgard liked his coffee. Not a damn thing.
“So, Edgard, what are you doin’ in our neck of the woods?”
“Reliving some old memories. I drove past my grandparents’ place yesterday. With the shabby way it’s looking I’m wishing I would’ve bought it when I had the chance.” He smiled wryly. “I’m kicking myself for letting another thing slip through my fingers. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
156
" Fine.”
“Fine,” he retorted.
Meridian grunted and her tail slapped the wall again.
Time dragged on, yet there was no place Edgard would rather be than right there, even if they both were angry, frustrated and not speaking. Hell, it was practically normal for them.
Casually, Trevor remarked, “You’re playin’ with your hair again.”
Edgard lowered his hand. “Sorry. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
157
" Eventually, Edgard said, “She doesn’t know anything about me. Not even that we were roping partners. Not that we were…” He looked at Trevor expectantly.
“No.” Trevor quickly glanced at the living room where Chassie was chattering away.
“You surprised?”
“Maybe that she isn’t aware of our official association as roping partners. There was no shame in that. We were damn good together, Trev.”
The word shame echoed like a slap. As good as they were together, it’d never been enough, in an official capacity or behind closed doors. “What are you really doin’ here?”
Edgard didn’t answer right away. “I don’t know. Feeling restless. Had the urge to travel.”
“Wyoming ain’t exactly an exotic port of call.”
“You think I don’t realize that? You think I wouldn’t rather be someplace else? But something…” Edgard lowered his voice. “Ah, f**k it.”
“What?”
“Want the truth? Or would you rather I lie?”
“The truth.”
“Truth between us? That’s refreshing.” Edgard’s gaze trapped his. “I’m here because of you.”
Trevor’s heart alternately stopped and soared, even when his answer was an indiscernible growl. “For Christsake, Ed. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
With my wife in the next room?”
“You’re making a big deal out of this. She thinks we’re friends, which ain’t a lie. We were partners before we were…” Edgard gestured distractedly. “If she gets the wrong idea, it won’t be from me.”
“Maybe I’m gettin’ the wrong idea. The last thing you said to me when you f**kin’ left me was that you weren’t ever comin’ back. And you made it goddamn clear you didn’t want to be my friend. So why are you here?”
Pause. He traced the rim of his coffee cup with a shaking fingertip. “I heard about you gettin’ married.”
“That happened over a year ago and you came all the way from Brazil to congratulate me in person? Now?”
“No.” Edgard didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. He raked his fingers through his hair. His voice was barely audible. “Will it piss you off if I admit I was curious about whether you’re really happy, meu amore?”
My love. My ass. Trevor snapped, “Yes.”
“Yes, you’re pissed off? Or yes, you’re happy?”
“Both.”
“Then this is gonna piss you off even more.”
“What?”
“Years and miles haven’t changed anything between us and you goddamn well know it.”
Trevor looked up; Edgard’s golden eyes were laser beams slicing him open. “It don’t matter. If you can’t be my friend while you’re in my house, walk out the f**kin’ door. I will not allow either one of us to hurt my wife. Got it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. And I’m done talkin’ about this shit so don’t bring it up again. Ever. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
158
" Edgard wasn’t convinced the three of them together out on the town was the best idea. “You sure you want me to come along, Chassie? I don’t wanna be a third wheel.”
“Trev is relieved to be off the dancin’ hook, aren’t you, hon?”
“Yep. I’ll be more’n happy to hold down a barstool and guard the beer while you’re two-steppin’.” Trevor gave Edgard a genuine grin. “You don’t know what you’re in for, Ed. Chassie can go all night.”
“I’m the lucky man to test your stamina? All night?” He grinned. “I’m all over that.”
“I’ll bet a guy like you has plenty of stayin’ power,” Chassie shot back with a sexy growl. “I’m lucky, showin’ up with the two hottest guys in the county. That uppity Brandy Martinson is so gonna eat her heart out.”
“I’m sure she’s used to no one noticing her when you’re in the room, sweetheart,”
Edgard drawled.
“Ed, stop flirtin’ with my wife. "
― Lorelei James , Rough, Raw and Ready (Rough Riders, #5)
