Home > Author > Mikki Kendall
121 " Irrationally, what white women seem to fear is that if they push back against the misogyny, then what power they currently have will be lost. In the same way that many white men seem to see power as a zero-sum game, so white women want to cling to the agency and selfhood they feel they have fought so hard to achieve. They genuinely believe that by defending these avatars of the patriarchy, they will somehow benefit even if it is at the expense of everyone else. "
― Mikki Kendall , Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot
122 " The same imagery they claim to find sexually empowering is rooted in the myth of white women’s purity and every other woman’s sexual availability. "
123 " I was one of those girls whoalways knew that I would leave if a man ever hit me. Because that’s what youdo, right? You walk away and never look back. That works very well in theory,but in practice, it’s often just a nice lie to tell yourself. Comforting, even. "
124 " I'm a feminist. Mostly. I'm an asshole. Mostly. I say these things because they are true, and in doing so, the fact that I am not nice is often brought up. And it's true: I'm not really a nice person. I am (at times) a kind person. But nice? Nope. Not unless I'm dealing with people I love, the elderly, or small children. What's the difference? I am always willing to help someone in need, whether I know them or not. But niceness is more than helping; it is stopping to listen, to connect, to be gentle with your words. I reserve nice for people who are nice to me or for those who I know need it because of their circumstances. "
125 " For many marginalized women, the men in our communities are partners in our struggles against racism even if some of them are a source of problems with sexism and misogyny. We cannot and will not abandon our sons, brothers, fathers, husbands, or friends, because for us they don’t represent an enemy. We have our issues with the patriarchy, but then so do they, as the most powerful faces of it aren’t men of color. "
126 " The sad reality is that while white women are an opressed group, they still wield more power than any other group of women - including the power to oppress both men and women of color. "
127 " The fundamental problem with white feminism has always been that it refuses to admit that the primary goal is shifting power to white women, and no one else. "
128 " We need to circumvent the patriarchal influences in our lives, especially among boys, who often end up joining gangs in order to find a level of respect and love that they are missing. We must continue to push for an egalitarian society in which women and girls have every opportunity afforded men and boys and are free from violence. "
129 " that doesn’t change the history of Black men being demonized or killed for expressing an interest in white women. Nor does it change the negative impact that a white woman’s tears can still have not only on a Black man’s career, but on his life. "
130 " When some victims are seen as disposable, then eventually all victims are disposable, "
131 " Respectability depends on acceptably performing gender and sexuality in ways that don’t threaten traditional ideas of masculinity. "
132 " Respectability politics are really about controlling group behavior with designations of appropriate or inappropriate behavior rooted in structural inequality. Gatekeepers of respectability push dominant narratives but don’t necessarily understand where their ideas of what is respectable come from, or how much of it is about mimicry and not innate value. "
133 " The fear of alienating other white women by refusing to challenge them or deny them support as a consequence for their racism is fundamentally damaging to any concept of feminism as a place that can create safety for all. "
134 " White supremacy isn’t just about normalizing racism, but when white women help to maintain the status quo in a society that is dripping with white supremacy, they give themselves more power. Furthermore, because white women have historically centered their own concerns in every movement, their priorities have largely revolved around keeping themselves intact, safe, and free. "
135 " The emotional labor required to be respectable, to never ruffle anyone’s feathers, to not get angry enough to challenge much less confront those who might have harmed you, is incredibly onerous precisely because it is so dehumanizing. Respectability requires not just a stiff upper lip, but a burying of yourself inside your own flesh in order to be able to maintain the necessary facade. It requires erasing your memory of how it felt to be hungry, cold, scared, and so on until all that is left is a placid surface to mask the raging maelstrom underneath. We talk about stress and illness, but the stress of respectability is unparalleled "
136 " But when it comes right down to it, white feminism often fails to show up for women of color. While white feminism can lean in, can prioritize the CEO level at work, it fails to show up when Black women are not being hired because of their names or fired for hairstyles. It’s silent when schools discriminate against girls of color. Whether it is the centering of white women even when women of color are most likely to be at risk or the complete erasure of issues most likely to impact those who are not white, white feminists tend to forget that a movement that claims to be for all women has to engage with the obstacles women who are not white face. "
137 " how poor women struggling to put food on the table, people in inner cities fighting to keep schools open, and rural populations fighting for the most basic of choices about their bodies are feminist concerns, and should be centered in this movement. "
138 " the people most addicted to maintaining the status quo are those who reap the greatest rewards. "
139 " Politeness as filtered through fragility and supremacy isn’t about manners; it’s about a methodology of controlling the conversation. Polite white people who respond to calls for respect, for getting boots off necks with demand for decorum, aren’t interested in resistance or disruption. They are interested in control. They replicate the manners of Jim Crow America, demanding deference and obedience; they want the polite facade instead of disruption "
140 " white feminism tends to forget that a movement that claims to be for all women has to engage with the obstacles women who are not white face. "