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81 " I'm poor and my cat is huge. "
― Christopher Moore , You Suck (A Love Story, #2)
82 " An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture. "
― Christopher Moore , Fool
83 " She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference. "
― Christopher Moore , Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
84 " Lucien, women are wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go sweep the steps. "
― Christopher Moore
85 " She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species. "
86 " Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism. "
― Christopher Moore , Practical Demonkeeping (Pine Cove, #1)
87 " On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire. "
― Christopher Moore , The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove (Pine Cove, #2)
88 " You know what? You know what? You know what?' I was waving my finger under her nose. 'You scratched the Son of God. That's your ass, that's what. "
89 " Blessed are the dumbfucks. "
90 " Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness. "
91 " You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. "
92 " The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic monotone. European robots. "
93 " I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry. "
94 " Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car. "
― Christopher Moore , Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
95 " I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand. "
96 " It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism. "
97 " It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I? "
98 " She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass. "
99 " She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it. "
100 " This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do. "