Home > Author > Richard Ayoade
1 " Even so-called 'short novels' are pretty long and can take several hours to read, so make sure you stay hydrated. I like to keep an isotonic sports drink handy if I'm going to be reading for any longer than forty minutes. I'll also take regular breaks and make sure I'm wearing loose-fitting clothing. "
― Richard Ayoade , Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey
2 " I have all these things that I want to say to her, like... Like how I can tell she's a lonely person, even if other people can't. Cause I know what it feels like to be lost and lonely and invisible. "
― Richard Ayoade , The Double
3 " Shyness can be interpreted as a kind of aggression. "
― Richard Ayoade
4 " When I buy Finnegans Wake by James Joyce, the acquisitive part of me is buying it for the deluded part of me that thinks I’ll read it one day, while the archivist part of me keeps it on a shelf with all the other books I haven’t read, so that one day it can present a logistical problem to those who survive me. "
― Richard Ayoade , Ayoade on Top
5 " So I've tried to make this book as dense as possible, like a neutron star. And if you think I came up with that simile by googling 'What stuff is most dense?', you'd be wrong. I already knew neutron stars were maybe dense before I googled it to make sure. "
― Richard Ayoade , The Grip of Film
6 " Remember the start of 2001: A Space Odyssey? Bunch of monkeys collecting bones. What‘s that got to do with space? They don‘t even have lasers!Cut that shit. And what about Citizen Kane? If they‘d wanted to gross some dollar, they should‘ve called it Dude, Where‘s My Sled? "
7 " I don't know that I brood. I just occasionally take time out to silently consider the specific ways in which others have wronged me. "
8 " There's a line in David Lean's punishingly long 1962 desert flick, Lawrence of Arabia: 'Truly for some men nothing is written unless they write it.'Duh. "
9 " You know, it's funny: there are never any middle-aged souls. You hear about people being young souls, you really hear about old souls, but what about middle-aged souls? "
10 " If a fleet of jet-black CHOPPERS ain't cresting over a back-lit hill by the end of Act II, you've got to start asking yourself whether this is a movie or a fucking art installation. "
11 " Is there any moment in time when you‘re doing something better than watching Predator/i>? "
12 " Is there any moment in time when you‘re doing something better than watching Predator? "
13 " Cinema helps us to remember that although we all have the right to shine, some of us must shine in the background, out of focus, and not too brightly. "
14 " I don't know how to be myself. It's like I'm permanently outside myself. Like, like you could push your hands straight through me if you wanted to. And I can see the type of man I want to be versus the type of man I actually am and I know that I'm doing it but I'm incapable of what needs to be done. I'm like Pinocchio, a wooden boy. Not a real boy. And it kills me. "
15 " Did you know … Roman Polanski sometimes has sex with adults? "
16 " When my parents weren’t watching the news, they were either waiting to watch the news or recovering from watching the news. The news confirmed their feeling that things were terrible everywhere, and there was nothing anyone could do about it apart from keep abreast of developments. I’ve avoided the news ever since. "
17 " Somewhere in the distance a wolf could be howling, but he decides not to. This particular wolf is by nature quiet and doesn't wish to blindly conform to stereotype. "
18 " I've found out that I may be more awkward than I thought I was, but then I never saw anyone because I was in my room a lot. It's fine not to speak when you're on your own and to stammer and to not have eye contact but, outside, it's frowned upon. "
19 " Has any film ever been made that’s better than the worst episode of Columbo? "
20 " Because to be moved by something made by someone who has done something bad would mean that a bad person possesses the capacity to connect to us; that they haven’t, somehow, forfeited their humanity. "
