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" A Long-Term Gratitude Lifter is gratitude-for-how-things-happen. At the end of each day, think of some event or circumstance for which you feel grateful, and write about it:
1. Give the event or circumstance a title, like “Finished Writing Chapter 8” or “Made It Through That Meeting Without Crying or Yelling.”
2. Write down what happened, including details about what anyone involved, including you, did or said.
3. Describe how it made you feel at the time, and how you feel now, as you think about it.
4. Explain how the event or circumstance came to be. What was the cause? What confluence of circumstances came together to create this moment?
If, as you write, you feel yourself being drawn into negative, critical thoughts and feelings, gently set them to one side and return your attention to the thing you’re being grateful for. "
― Emily Nagoski , Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
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" Imagine that the brain and the genitals are a couple of friends on vacation together, wandering down the street deciding where to have dinner.
If they're women, it goes like this: The genitals notice any restaurant they pass, whether it's Thai food or pub grub, fast food or gourmet (while ignoring all the museums and shops),and say, "This is a restaurant. We could eat here." She has no strong opinion, she's just good at spotting restaurants. Meanwhile, the brain is assessing all the contextual factors [...] to decide whether she wants to try a place. "This place isn't delicious smelling enough," or "This place isn't clean enough," or "I'm not in the mood for pizza." The genitals might even notice a pet store and say, "There's pet food in here, I guess..." and the brain rolls her eyes and keeps walking.
[...] Now, if the friends are men, it goes like this: The genitals notice only specific restaurants -- diners, say -- and don't notice any restaurants that aren't diners. Once they find a diner, the brain says, "A diner! I love diners," and the genitals agree, "This is a restaurant, we could eat here," unless there's some pretty compelling reason not to, like a bunch of drunks brawling outside. "
― Emily Nagoski , Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life