Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's QUOTES

1 " And my experience in the music scene had shown me that there were places for places in the world where misfits were welcome. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

2 " I tried to show him things, but he didn't seem to study what I showed him. Usually, he just put whatever I handed him in his mouth. He would try to eat anything. I fed him Tabasco sauce and he yelled. Having a little brother helped me learn to relate to other people. Being a little brother, Snort learned to watch what he put in his mouth. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

3 " As I've gotten older, I have taught myself to act "normal." I can do it well enough to fool the average person for a whole evening, maybe longer. But it all falls apart if I hear something that elicits a strong emotional reaction from me that is different from what people expect. In an instant, in their eyes, I turn into the sociopathic killer I was believed to be forty years ago. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

4 " So is there a cure?' I asked.
'It's not a disease,' he explained. 'It doesn't need curing. It's just how you are "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

5 " I don't really understsand why it's considered normal to stare at someone's eyeballs "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

6 " As a functional Aspergian adult, one thing troubles me deeply about those kids who end up behind the second door. Many descriptions of autism and Asperger’s describe people like me as “not wanting contact with others” or “preferring to play alone.” I can’t speak for other kids, but I’d like to be very clear about my own feelings: I did not ever want to be alone. And all those child psychologists who said “John prefers to play by himself” were dead wrong. I played by myself because I was a failure at playing with others. I was alone as a result of my own limitations, and being alone was one of the bitterest disappointments of my young life. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

7 " We began reading books together. He loved Dr. Seuss. I read those books so often I could turn the pages and say the words from memory. I became bored with repetition, and I began to make subtle alterations. The story turned into:

One fish
Two fish
Black fish
Blue fish
I eat you fish

And:

See them all
See them run
The man in back
He has a gun "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

8 " Asperger’s is not a disease. It’s a way of being. There is no cure, nor is there a need for one. There is, however, a need for knowledge and adaptation on the part of Aspergian kids and their families and friends. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

9 " I used to fear barking dogs. I would cringe and say to myself, 'Nice doggie please don't bite me I'll just go away,' but by that night I could look at them and think, I am your worst nightmare. Come closer and I will impale you upon my stick. The more I firmly visualized it, the more the dogs believed it. Now the tables had turned. Now the dogs feared me. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

10 " My conversational difficulties highlight a problem Aspergians face every day. A person with an obvious disability—for example, someone in a wheelchair—is treated compassionately because his handicap is obvious. No one turns to a guy in a wheelchair and says, “Quick! Let’s run across the street!” And when he can’t run across the street, no one says, “What’s his problem?” They offer to help him across the street. With me, though, there is no external sign that I am conversationally handicapped. So folks hear some conversational misstep and say, “What an arrogant jerk!” I look forward to the day when my handicap will afford me the same respect accorded to a guy in a wheelchair. And if the respect comes with a preferred parking space, I won’t turn it down. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

11 " I have what you might call “logical empathy” for people I don’t know. That is, I can understand that it’s a shame that those people died in the plane crash. And I understand they have families, and they are sad. But I don’t have any physical reaction to the news. And there’s no reason I should. I don’t know them and the news has no effect on my life. Yes, it’s sad, but the same day thousands of other people died from murder, accident, disease, natural disaster, and all manner of other causes. I feel I must put things like this in perspective and save my worry for things that truly matter to me. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

12 " They enrolled me in a group for troubled kids. We would meet each week in an old farmhouse owned by the university and talk about our problems getting along. . . . . They didn't teach me to get along, but I did learn that there were plenty of other kids who couldn't get along any better than me. That in itself was encouraging. I realized that I was not the bottom of the barrel. Or if I was, the bottom was roomy because there were a lot of us down there. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

13 " I needed to stop forcing myself to fit into something I could never be a part of. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

14 " When we pulled in, the customs officer looked in the back. The back of the wagon was filled with cases stenciled PINK FLOYD--LONDON.

'Got Pink Floyd in the back of the car, do you?' he asked.

'Righto, mate. We shrunk 'em and stuck 'em in fookin' boxes, we did,' said Nigel.

Amazingly, the customs officer laughed and waved us through. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

15 " It must be my logical consideration of a decision many see as purely intuitive or emotional that throws other people for a loop. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

16 " Sociopath” and “psycho” were two of the most common field diagnoses for my look and expression. I heard it all the time: “I’ve read about people like you. They have no expression because they have no feeling. Some of the worst murderers in history were sociopaths. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

17 " This is a f***ing mess," I said tactfully. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

18 " I knew I was some kind of misfit, but it was becoming apparent that some of the grown-ups who smiled sweetly and told me how terrible and fucked-up I was were complete fuckups themselves. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

19 " ...delineated with signs reading:

TOWN OF AMHERST
WATERSHED
NO TRESPASSING

Which every boy in the neighborhood understood as:

PRIVATE PRESERVE FOR KIDS "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

20 " Soon I was spending all my time in the basement, and I had moved from taking things apart to putting new things together. I began by building simple devices. Some, like my radios, were useful. Others were merely entertaining. For example, I discovered I could solder some stiff wires onto a capacitor and charge it up. For a few minutes, until the charge leaked away, I had a crude stun gun.

...So I decided to try it on my little brother. I charged the capacitor to a snappy but nonlethal level from a power supply I'd recently removed from our old Zenith television.

'Hey, let's play Jab a Varmint,' I said. I tried to smile disarmingly, keeping the capacitor behind my back and making sure I didn't ruin the effect by jabbing myself or some other object.

'What's that?' he asked, suspiciously.

Before he could escape, I stepped across the room and jabbed him. He jumped. Pretty high, too. Sometimes he would fight back, but this time he ran. The jab was totally unexpected and he didn't realize that I only had the one jab in my capacitor. It would be several years before I had the skill to make a multishot Varmint Jabber. "

― John Elder Robison , Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's