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Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2) QUOTES

Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2) QUOTES

1 " I happen to be partial to humans - most, anyway. Clowns, not so much. Those evil bastards never stop smiling. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

2 " Come, my handsome vampire. I have a few things I must do to prepare you. Then I’ll put you somewhere safe to await your bride. Oh—I know!” She clapped excitedly. “You can stay inside my piggy bank! And I’ll create a drama-tastic jungle intro to your lady! How about Romancing the Stone meets Apocalypto? "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

3 " Any day now?” Viktor prodded. “Sì, sì. Do not get your…” Niccolo paused to recall the exact phrase. “Get your balls in a bunch.” Viktor shook his head. “Panties.” Niccolo frowned. “Why would you wear panties? Aren’t those for females?” Viktor growled. “Can we go now?” “Yes, but I insist you tell me more about your man-panties later. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

4 " Although he was an ancient Viking, Viktor wasn’t “old school” as the younger vampires called it. Viktor embraced everything modern, and that included automatic handguns with custom made wooden bullets and quirky sayings like, “That’s right, bitches! Who’s your bad-dy? "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

5 " Control, no. This place—I simply do not understand it. The humans here wear giant cocktail glasses around their necks and insert exorbitant amounts of money into little machines that light up. I still cannot understand, however, why they call them ‘slut machines.’ Is because they steal your money?” “I believe the correct name is ‘slot machine.’ They’re kind of fun… "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

6 " Sì, maybe I should consult Viktor. Niccolo pulled his phone from his pocket. His fingers jabbed at the miniature text pad with frustration:
H asked me 2 break 1 of my rules, then I should sleep w/ her. Yes? Niccolo hit send.
Viktor responded immediately: U mean sexting. right?
Niccolo: Sexting?
Viktor: Sex+texting.
Niccolo: Idiot. real sex.
Viktor: Dumbass! Then u lose chance 4 freedom.
Niccolo: Have lost it already. I think.
Viktor: K, then tell her who U R instead, ass. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

7 " Do you think he’ll ever forgive you for turning him into a Demilord before you put him to sleep in your piggy bank?” She shrugged. “Oooh. I hope not. I love conflict—World War Numero Dos…fucking awesome! Can’t wait for number three! "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

8 " Niccolo frowned. Why did Viktor, and modern humans for that matter, always speak of beasts of burden? Ass this and ass that. Hungry as a horse… "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

9 " A tick of amusement flashed in Tomas’ eyes. “I can see you are not quite comfortable with leaving your quarters just yet, so may I order you some food?” Helena lifted her chin. She was determined to bury her fear, and that included her wobbly knees that seemed to recognize she was talking to a lion who, under normal circumstances, viewed her as a tasty gazelle. “Sausage Pizza and…Dr. Pepper.” Tomas stared for several moments, fear filling his eyes. “I am certain we can find you a pizza, but I was not aware you are ill and require a doctor. Niccolo will have my head.” This was going to be a very, very long day. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

10 " He shoved the phone at her again. “What does this do?” Hand shaking, she took it from him. “Um. It’s called a Smartphone. You can talk to people or send messages. It’s got Internet too.” She pointed to a collection of funny looking symbols on the glossy surface. Inter-net. Is that used for some sort of fishing? And why is the phone called smart? Were prior ones stupid? "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

11 " Wow! First vampires. Then gods. Now…vampire—gods? What’s next? Werewolves? Smurfs? Were-Smurfs? "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

12 " Andrus turned the engine and gave her a suspicious look. “You smell like...” He shifted into drive. “What?” “Nothing, but—did something happen inside?” Could he really smell…that? He crinkled his nose. “Your face is red and your scent is…” Oh, God. He can! Kill me now! Giant bomb, falling tree, spontaneous combustion…anything! "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

13 " Okay. Good point.” He’s very honest. I should ask how he is in bed. She slapped her hands over her mouth. “I didn’t just say that out loud again, did I?”
"Yes, you did. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

14 " As darkness descended, fear continued hammering on the cracks of her rational mind. Even the critters had decided to ratchet up the volume. Great. A creepy nature soundtrack for my own personal nightmare. “How about some Tomb Raider music, people! "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

15 " You’re hurt,” she commented. And I care? Okay. It’s official. I’m my own species now: pathetic-deathwish-osaurus…I sooo hear extinction calling me. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

16 " Yes, a proud, proud moment in my life. If only that could go on my Facebook timeline! "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

17 " What the hell?” Helena objected. “And would someone please flick a Bic or rub two sticks together? I want to die knowing exactly what killed me. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

18 " You will marry me. We will be together. I will not discuss this again.” His dark eyes turned into bottomless, black pits. “Capisce?” he growled. Barbarian. Or, is he a medieval bastard? Dammit why didn't I pay closer attention to time periods in history class? "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

19 " Oh. Come on! I left my backpack on the bus.” According to Darwin, you’re a prime candidate for extinction. Too stupid to live! "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)

20 " Is there any spot on his body that isn’t hard? Tonsils? Kidneys? Oh! His tongue... silky little devil. "

― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff , Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2)