1
" I ask the impossible: love me forever.
Love me when all desire is gone.
Love me with the single mindedness of a monk.
When the world in its entirety,
and all that you hold sacred advise you
against it: love me still more.
When rage fills you and has no name: love me.
When each step from your door to our job tires you--
love me; and from job to home again, love me, love me.
Love me when you're bored--
when every woman you see is more beautiful than the last,
or more pathetic, love me as you always have:
not as admirer or judge, but with
the compassion you save for yourself
in your solitude.
Love me as you relish your loneliness,
the anticipation of your death,
mysteries of the flesh, as it tears and mends.
Love me as your most treasured childhood memory--
and if there is none to recall--
imagine one, place me there with you.
Love me withered as you loved me new.
Love me as if I were forever--
and I, will make the impossible
a simple act,
by loving you, loving you as I do "
― Ana Castillo , I Ask the Impossible
7
" I say, we live on, though I am wrong, this is what I say.In the past, present, future, we live on as if in one time.You can never stop the past from happening,and it has happened , and will continue to happen. This is the truth, I think I know, along withthe two other things I do know.I exist.I want to kiss you. And also this: each day, as we go,we will always be as young as we can be. "
8
" GERTRUDEGertrude Appleman, 1901-1976God is all-knowing, all-present, and almighty. --A Catechism of Christian DoctrineI wish that all the peoplewho peddle Godcould watch my mother die:could see the skin andgristle weighing onlyseventy-nine, every stubbornpound of flesh a smalldeath.I wish the people who peddle Godcould see her young,lovely in gardens andbeautiful in kitchens, and could watchthe hand of God slowlytwisting her knees and fingerstill they gnarled and knotted, settling infor thirty years of pain.I wish the people who peddle Godcould see the lightningof His cancer stabbingher, that small frametensing at every shock,her sweet contralto scratchy withthe Lord’s infection: Philip,I want to die.I wish I had them gathered round,those preachers, popes, rabbis,imams, priests – everypious shill on God’s payroll – and Iwould pull the sheets from my mother’s brittle body,and they would fall on their knees at her bedsideto be forgiven all theirfaith. "
9
" Her feet moved into the vast space, but all she couldsee was Cyrus. He strode through the room the way acaptain commands his ship. Was it possible his maroon bruise made him more dashing? He was a fine sight in a black broadcloth coat. Hersalacious gaze dropped to a brass button lower on hiswaistcoat. The metal glimmered, winking at her withflirtatious intent very near the tuft of hair she rememberedso well at his navel. The corner of Cyrus’s mouth crooked. If shelooked ready to devour him, he read the message onher face, no words required. “Claire.” He said her name like a treasured sound. Then, herlandlord bent low over her hand, kissing her knucklesand keeping her fingers in a tender hold.Her flesh sung a merry tune recalling how she’dgripped those broad shoulders of his in a fit of passion.Was that only two nights ago? Her cheeks turned hotat the memory. Cyrus rose to his full height, holding her hand. Heplanted a kiss on her forehead. “Mmmm…” he hummed approvingly. “You smellof almonds.” His lips lingered on her hairline, givingher another soft kiss. “And vanilla, I think. Somethingyou cooked?” He breathed in her scent, standing close yet notintimidating in the least. His own smell was cleanand starched with a hint of coffee. She reached high,touching his face like a woman with every right topartake of the feast he offered. “It’s face powder.” One finger stroked the smoothsquare of his jaw, her voice curving with amusement. “Today I join the ranks of ladies who meet for luncheon,and I can’t be sure if I’ve been lured here orgoaded by one very challenging man put on earth toharass my senses.” She caressed his jaw, the grain of his skin smoothto the touch. He must’ve shaved in the last hour. Hismouth quirked sideways, pressing the maroon bruisehigher up his cheek. “Something tells me you’re the perfect woman tosoothe such a man or put him in his place.” His pewterstare flicked over her exposed skin, settling on hercleavage. “As to your senses, I shall treat them withthe utmost care. "