1
" As Master Nathaniel jogged leisurely along his thoughts turned to the Farmer Gibberty, who many a time must have jogged along this path, in just such a way, and seen and heard the very same things that he was seeing and hearing now.
Yes, the Farmer Gibberty had once been a real living man, like himself. And so had millions of others, whose names he had never heard. And one day he himself would be a prisoner, confined between the walls of other people's memory. And then he would cease even to be that, and become nothing but a few words cut in stone. What would these words be, he wondered. "
― Hope Mirrlees , Lud-in-the-Mist
2
" Hardly had the light been extinguished, when a peculiar trembling beganto affect the netting under which the three children lay.It consisted of a multitude of dull scratches which produced a metallicsound, as if claws and teeth were gnawing at the copper wire. This wasaccompanied by all sorts of little piercing cries.The little five-year-old boy, on hearing this hubbub overhead, andchilled with terror, jogged his brother's elbow; but the elder brotherhad already shut his peepers, as Gavroche had ordered. Then the littleone, who could no longer control his terror, questioned Gavroche, but ina very low tone, and with bated breath:--" Sir?" " Hey?" said Gavroche, who had just closed his eyes." What is that?" " It's the rats," replied Gavroche.And he laid his head down on the mat again.The rats, in fact, who swarmed by thousands in the carcass of theelephant, and who were the living black spots which we have alreadymentioned, had been held in awe by the flame of the candle, so long asit had been lighted; but as soon as the cavern, which was the sameas their city, had returned to darkness, scenting what the goodstory-teller Perrault calls " fresh meat," they had hurled themselves inthrongs on Gavroche's tent, had climbed to the top of it, and had begunto bite the meshes as though seeking to pierce this new-fangled trap.Still the little one could not sleep." Sir?" he began again." Hey?" said Gavroche." What are rats?" " They are mice." This explanation reassured the child a little. He had seen white mice inthe course of his life, and he was not afraid of them. Nevertheless, helifted up his voice once more." Sir?" " Hey?" said Gavroche again." Why don't you have a cat?" " I did have one," replied Gavroche, " I brought one here, but they ateher." This second explanation undid the work of the first, and the littlefellow began to tremble again.The dialogue between him and Gavroche began again for the fourth time:--" Monsieur?" " Hey?" " Who was it that was eaten?" " The cat." " And who ate the cat?" " The rats." " The mice?" " Yes, the rats." The child, in consternation, dismayed at the thought of mice which atecats, pursued:--" Sir, would those mice eat us?" " Wouldn't they just!" ejaculated Gavroche.The child's terror had reached its climax. But Gavroche added:--" Don't be afraid. They can't get in. And besides, I'm here! Here, catchhold of my hand. Hold your tongue and shut your peepers! "
7
" I was having dinner…in London…when eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about “Your country’s never been invaded.” And so I said, “Let me tell you who those bad guys are. They’re us. WE BE BAD. We’re the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We’re three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother’s side. You take your Germany, France, and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn’t give us room to park our cars. We’re the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d’Antibes. And we’ve got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go. You say our country’s never been invaded? You’re right, little buddy. Because I’d like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who’d have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can’t hold our sock-hops.
We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I’d rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen, and jack of all Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch. "
― P.J. O'Rourke , Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks, "What's Funny about This?"
11
" Farragut's first visitor was his wife. He was raking leaves in yard Y when the PA said that 734-508-32 had a visitor. He jogged up the road past the firehouse and into the tunnel. It was four flights up to cellblock F. " Visitor," he said to Walton, who let him into his cell. He kept his white shirt prepared for visits. It was dusty. He washed his face and combed his hair with water. " Don't take nuttin but a handkerchief," said the guard. " I know, I know, I know...." Down he went to the door of the visitor's room, where he was frisked. Through the glass he saw that his visitor was Marcia.There were no bars in the visitor's room, but the glass windows were chicken-wired and open only at the top. A skinny cat couldn't get in or out, but the sounds of the prison moved in freely on the breeze. She would, he knew, have passed three sets of bars - clang, clang, clang - and waited in an anteroom where there were pews or benches, soft-drink engines and a display of the convict's art with prices stuck in the frames. None of the cons could paint, but you could always count on some wet-brain to buy a vase of roses or a marine sunset if he had been told that the artist was a lifer. There were no pictures on the walls of the visitor's room but there were four signs that said: NO SMOKING, NO WRITING, NO EXCHANGE OF OBJECTS, VISITORS ARE ALLOWED ONE KISS. "
12
" ...I think I saw something orange pass beneath a streetlight. That means she turned the corner on Pecan Street. Wait right here, and I’ll get my car.” Stella grabbed Mona’s arm. “There’s no time. Follow me and keep your mouth shut.” Instead of going to the street, Stella crept through a yard. “This is crazy, I can’t see a thing. Stella, we could break a leg.” “I told you to be quiet. I know these yards as well as I know my own. Stay behind me.” She led Mona behind a large azalea bush close to the sidewalk. They hid there as Rusty approached, and she was almost on top of them when Mona sneezed. Rusty stopped, put her hands on her hips, and said, “I know you’re in there.” Neither Stella nor Mona made a peep. “I think I understand why you feel the need to watch me. I’m new around here, so let me introduce myself. My name is Rusty Martinez. I’m a businesswoman, and I have no intention of breaking into anyone’s home. I’m simply out for exercise, so you have nothing to worry about.” “Okay, well, you have a nice night,” Mona said cheerily. Rusty recoiled at the response. “Um…you too,” she said quickly and jogged away. Stella groaned. “Your mother obviously didn’t teach you how to properly conduct a mission, did she?” “If you mean how to hide in a bush, then no. "
― Robin Alexander , Rusty Logic