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giraffe QUOTES

giraffe QUOTES

1 " Yes Yes

when God created love he didn't help most
when God created dogs He didn't help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility
when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when He created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low

when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time

He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe. "

― Charles Bukowski

2 " Dad?" Jesus asked." Yes, son?" God replied." Do we look like man or does he look like us?" Jesus asked." Man made god in his image," God said." Why?" Jesus asked." Because it's easier to believe in someone and something if it looks like you or is a symbolic representation of you," God answered." If that's true. What do we look like then?" Jesus asked.God smiled, " We look like everything." Jesus laughed, " Could I look like a giraffe then?" " Yes, if the giraffe believes in you," God laughed.Jesus smiled and had tears of joy in his eyes. "

3 " I promise.For the other side of the card, I put the giraffe and penguin on it and wrote:To think and try not to over think.To breathe, but not hyperventilate.To try to envision the best, and not dwell on the worst.To call you when I'm in trouble.To not do anything permanent on a situation that might be temporary. "

4 " The distinctive features of the world's civilisations are not simply and solely the giraffe and the city of Rome, as the children may perhaps have been led to imagine on the first evening, but also the elephant and the country of Denmark, beside many other things. Yes, everyday brought its new animal and its new country, its new kings and its new gods, its quota of those tough little figures which seem to have no significance, but are nevertheless endowed with a life and a value of their own, and may be added together or subtracted from one another at will. And finally poetry, which is grater than any country ; poetry with its bright palaces. "

― Halldór Laxness , Independent People

5 " Does the giraffe know what he's for? Or care? Or even think about his place in things? A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven inches long and no vocal cords. A giraffe has nothing to say. He just goes on giraffing. "

― Robert Fulghum , All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

6 " That's just how time travel looks like to the untrained eye. The reason why there aren't more travelers is that your average physicist refuses to be eaten by a giraffe in the name of science. "

― Bradley Sands , It Came from Below the Belt

7 " How do is start the process call " JerkOff" ? - Pretty interesting question, I just found how it starts. It comes in your mind dirty stuff, like woman sucks a cock, woman sucks a dick => (then auto it starts), animal porn, woman sucks horse dick, woman sucks giraffe dick... okay I little far went as I can this probably doesn't exist I haven't saw, but watching how man sucks a dick one moment comes when you want to watch lesbians don't you... want???From there is possibility Shemale to be in an lesbian? Is there???Or she doesn't have any sex???In case she looks like a woman and have a dick, woman = woman, dick = man. Pretty interesting!...So let's go back, probably you have chance to see in school some kind a porn, some kind a kisses, which go far and far. But from there you see the boobs, then the feet from boobs it comes in your mind dick between the boobs, for feet comes feetjob. Then blowjob and so on and so on. But stop for a moment!You really don't need jerkoff it ruins everything, think clear if you want read this as much times as possible... "

8 " The elephant is the largest, but not the fiercest. The giraffe is the tallest, but not the strongest. The cheetah is the fastest, but not the wisest. The ant is the smallest, but not the gentlest. "

9 " TO A GIRAFFE
If it is unpermissible, in fact fatal
to be personal and undesirable
to be literal—detrimental as well
if the eye is not innocent-does it mean that
one can live only on top leaves that are small
reachable only by a beast that is tall?—
of which the giraffe is the best example—
the unconversational animal.
When plagued by the psychological,
a creature can be unbearable
that could have been irresistible;
or to be exact, exceptional
since less conversational
than some emotionally-tied-in-knots animal.
After all
consolations of the metaphysical
can be profound. In Homer, existence
is flawed; transcendence, conditional;
“the journey from sin to redemption, perpetual. "

― Marianne Moore , Complete Poems

10 " Pliny suggested that the ostrich, then newly discovered, was the result of a cross between a giraffe and a gnat. (It would, I suppose, have to be a female giraffe and a male gnat.) In practice there must be many such crosses which have not been
attempted because of a certain understandable lack of motivation. "

― Carl Sagan , Dragons of Eden: Speculations on the Evolution of Human Intelligence

11 " As Ummon and the other Masters teach, it explains why the giraffe evolved a long neck but never why the other animals did not. It explains why humankind evolved to intelligence, but not why the tree near the front gate refused to. "

― Dan Simmons

12 " A curse. Been in our family for generations. The Lees have always been perverts. I shall never forget the unspeakable horror that froze the lymph in my glands when the baneful word seared my reeling brain - I was a homosexual. I thought of the painted simpering female impersonators I'd seen in a Baltimore nightclub. Could it be possible I was one of those subhuman things? I walked the streets in a daze like a man with a light concussion. I would've destroyed myself. And a wise old queen - Bobo, we called her - taught me that I had a duty to live and bear my burden proudly for all to see. Poor Bobo came to a sticky end - he was riding in the Duke Devanche's Hispano Suissa when his falling hemorrhoids blew out of the car and wrapped around the rear wheel. He was completely gutted leaving an empty shell sitting there on the giraffe skin upholstry. Even the eyes and the brain went with a horrible " shlupping" sound. The Duke says he would carry that ghastly " shlup" with him to his mausoleum. "

13 " He grinned at her. “Well, then I have a bit of a confession to make. Colin said some things to me and the sound of his voice irritated me so I had one of those clowns with the big red noses in the paediatric wing turn him into a balloon animal. A giraffe I’m afraid. Sad fate it was,” Alessandro joked with no sign of remorse at all. "

― E. Jamie , The Betrayal (Blood Vows, #2)

14 " My dad was always snoozing on the couch, like Dagwood Bumstead. He was a lazy motherfucker. God bless him. He was always working on some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. This is what my dad was like: I'd say, Hey, Dad, we studied penguins today in school. He'd say, Yeah? I'm a penguin fucker from way back. Dad, I saw a giraffe at the zoo today. Yeah? I'm a giraffe fucker from way back. That's my dad. My dad was a giraffe fucker. "

― James Ellroy

15 " We need to get home and put some ointments and ice on the stings. Vinegar will make it worse, so if you thought Giraffe Boy could pee on you, you’re shit out of luck.”

She agrees as if prepared for this—the punishment, the medication, the swelling, the pain that hurts her now and the pain that will hurt her later. She seems okay with my disapproval. She’s gotten her story, after all, and she’s beginning to see how much easier physical pain is to tolerate than emotional pain. I’m unhappy that she’s learning this at such a young age.

“The hospital will have ointments and ice,” she says. "

― Kaui Hart Hemmings , The Descendants

16 " It's just that the chaos has changed shape. The giraffe and the bear have traded hats, and the bear's switched scarves with the zebra. "

17 " I'm no more modern than ancient, no more French than Chinese, and the idea of a native country, that is to say, the imperative to live on one bit of ground marked red or blue on the map and to hate the other bits in green or black, has always seemed to me narrow-minded, blinkered and profoundly stupid. I am a soul brother to everything that lives, to the giraffe and to the crocodile as much as to man. "

― Gustave Flaubert

18 " If I know a song of Africa, of the giraffe and the African new moon lying on her back, of the plows in the fields and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers, does Africa know a song of me? Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on, or the children invent a game in which my name is, or the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me, or will the eagles of the Ngong Hills look out for me? "

― Karen Blixen

19 " You have to understand – there is a romance to Africa. You can see a sunset and believe you have witnessed the hand of God. You watch the slow lope of a lioness and forget to breathe. You marvel at the tripod of a giraffe bent to water. In Africa, there are iridescent blues on the wings of birds that you do not see anywhere else in nature. In Africa, in the midday heat, you can see blisters in the atmosphere. When you are in Africa, you feel primordial, rocked in the cradle of the world. "

― Jodi Picoult , Leaving Time

20 " God is really another artist. He invented the giraffe the elephant and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things. "