1
" A year ago, I was at a dinner in Amsterdam when the question came up of whether each of us loved his or her country. The German shuddered, the Dutch were equivocal, the Brit said he was " comfortable" with Britain, the expatriate American said no. And I said yes. Driving across the arid lands, the red lands, I wondered what it was I loved. the places, the sagebrush basins, the rivers digging themselves deep canyons through arid lands, the incomparable cloud formations of summer monsoons, the way the underside of clouds turns the same blue as the underside of a great blue heron's wings when the storm is about to break.Beyond that, for anything you can say about the United States, you can also say the opposite: we're rootless except we're also the Hopi, who haven't moved in several centuries; we're violent except we're also the Franciscans nonviolently resisting nucelar weapons out here; we're consumers except the West is studded with visionary environmentalists...and the landscape of the West seems like the stage on which such dramas are played out, a space without boundaries, in which anything can be realized, a moral ground, out here where your shadow can stretch hundreds of feet just before sunset, where you loom large, and lonely. "
5
" Grief can destroy you—or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn’t allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it’s over and you’re alone, you begin to see it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. “And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life. "
― Dean Koontz , Odd Hours (Odd Thomas, #4)
6
" Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life. "
― Dean Koontz , Odd Hours (Odd Thomas, #4)
10
" 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?16. What do you value most in a friendship?17. What is your most treasured memory?18. What is your most terrible memory?19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?20. What does friendship mean to you?21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen. "