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1 " Too much twee emotional expression--too many claims like, " Everything is awesome," or " I just never really feel angry or upset," or " If you're just positive, you can turn that frown upside down," --often masks real pain and hurt. These behaviors are as much red flags as brooding and anger are....Being all light is as dangerous as being all dark, simply because denial of emotion is what feeds the dark. "
2 " Just as Man developed morals and ethical behavior over thousands of years of evolution; so, too, did he invent an authority figure to enforce these behaviors - God. "
― Lex Allen
3 " THE MYTH OF THE GOOD OL BOY AND THE NICE GAL The good of boy myth and the nice gal are a kind of social conformity myth. They create a real paradox when put together with the " rugged individual" part of the Success Myth. How can I be a rugged individual, be my own man and conform at the same time? Conforming means " Don't make a wave" , " Don't rock the boat" . Be a nice gal or a good ol' boy. This means that we have to pretend a lot. " We are taught to be nice and polite. We are taught that these behaviors (most often lies) are better than telling the truth. Our churches, schools, and politics are rampant with teaching dishonesty (saying things we don't mean and pretending to feel ways we don't feel). We smile when we feel sad; laugh nervously when dealing with grief; laugh at jokes we don't think are funny; tell people things to be polite that we surely don't mean." - Bradshaw On: The Family "
4 " HOW CAN I TELL IF A MAN I’M SEEING WILL BECOME ABUSIVE?• He speaks disrespectfully about his former partners.• He is disrespectful toward you.• He does favors for you that you don’t want or puts on such a show of generosity that it makes you uncomfortable.• He is controlling.• He is possessive.• Nothing is ever his fault.• He is self-centered.• He abuses drugs or alcohol.• He pressures you for sex.• He gets serious too quickly about the relationship.• He intimidates you when he’s angry.• He has double standards.• He has negative attitudes toward women.• He treats you differently around other people.• He appears to be attracted to vulnerability.No single one of the warning signs above is a sure sign of an abusive man, with the exception of physical intimidation. Many nonabusive men may exhibit a umber of these behaviors to a limited degree. What, then, should a woman do to protect herself from having a relationship turn abusive? Although there is no foolproof solution, the best plan is:1. Make it clear to him as soon as possible which behaviors or attitudes are unacceptable to you and that you cannot be in a relationship with him if they continue.2. If it happens again, stop seeing him for a substantial period of time. Don’t keep seeing him with the warning that this time you “really mean it,” because he will probably interpret that to mean that you don’t.3. If it happens a third time, or if he switches to other behaviors that are warning flags, chances are great that he has an abuse problem. If you give him too many chances, you are likely to regret it later. Finally, be aware that as an abuser begins his slide into abuse, he believes that you are the one who is changing. His perceptions work this way because he feels so justified in his actions that he can’t imagine the problem might be with him. All he notices is that you don’t seem to be living up to his image of the perfect, all-giving, deferential woman. "
― Lundy Bancroft , Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
5 " To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Say something nice!My wise mother raised us with the philosophy that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That is a Southern custom if there ever was one! It is easy to find fault, criticize, condemn, and complain—but none of these behaviors will help you enjoy positive relationship results. "
― Susan C. Young , The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4)